Coffee Anyone?

Oh poor neglected blog . . .

2009-12-05T23:14:00.002+02:00

Where is the time to simply play
as once I used to spend my day?
To greet old friends and say hello,
a place to come when I felt low?
It isn't often that I find the time,
to pop in here and write bad rhyme.
I'm sorry to neglect you so,
because I'm busy, as you know.
Selling computers for a living,
isn't conducive to artistic giving.
In fact I think I'd have to say,
I'm just too buggered at the end of day!
So please accept my sincere regrets
for my unfortunate neglects!

DELIGHTS OF CLEANING A FISHPOND!

2009-01-27T17:46:00.004+02:00

For some strange and bizarre reason I decided to clean out the fishpond the Sunday before last. To be honest I'm not really much of a fish person and I'm only the 'owner' of two rather elusive goldfish due to the unfortunate circumstance of inheriting a fishpond, complete with fish, when we rented our current property a few months back.

The first thing I noticed when we moved in towards the end of a rather cold English winter was that the fish appeared to be dead and unmoving in the bottom of the conveniently placed pond, just outside the lounge window. I have to admit to being quite concerned about those dead fish until I was told by Mr Expert Who Lived Across the Road that this was normal behaviour for fish when the water temperature is below 4 degrees. Apparently Mr Expert had previously agreed with our landlord that he would take over the three Koi, leaving me with only three little goldfish to look after. Pffft! How hard could that be I thought?

Now I must tell you a little about Mr Expert - a delightful local chap who lives and breathes for his spectacular pond full of giant sized Koi fish. We got to know him quite well on his several visits to catch the Koi. He fondly became known as The Koi Man, a very friendly and effusive gentleman who seemed not to have developed much skill in netting fish. Rather strange considering his passion. After several unsuccessful but rather amusing attempts he eventually brought a friend, Mr Jolly Expert Fish Catcher from Down the Road, to help him and soon the deed was done and the Koi went gratefully off to a new and better place. This left me with three extremely paranoid goldfish who had not taken very well to be chased round the fishpond in mistaken identity!

With the warmer weather came the delightful green algae - it blossomed and grew in joyful abundance. No amount of skimming the pond and scraping its sides could keep it at bay. It bubbled and frothed and bunged up the filter, it settled in great green globs around the reeds and took on a life of its own. It was truly a fearful sight (to say nothing of the smell that began to intrude into the lounge!). Hence the decision that fateful day to clean out the fishpond.

I decided that as I hadn't actually seen the fish for at least a week or two, the easiest thing would be to start pumping out the water and only catch them when the water was low enough to make visibility a reality. Thus is was only several hours later that I realised I only had two fish in the pond! I'm still baffled - a passing seagull perhaps? Needless to say, the goldfish were even more paranoid than normal as I hurtled around the pond in my attempts to catch them. They ducked, I dived, they dashed, I slipped - on my butt! Cold water, green slime - what better way to spend a Sunday? By now the whole family had come outside to join in the fun with shouts of encouragement and proffered helpful advice. I was less than amused which probably explains why they all disappeared back inside once the fish were safely placed into a bucket where they immediately sank to the bottom in a giant sulk.

Seems it was to fall to me to finish bailing out the last of the slimy water. It seemed appropriate I suppose since I was already pretty green and smelly anyway by this stage! Much scrubbing and dubbing later and filled with beautiful crystal clear water, the pond was a delight to behold by the time I'd finished. I even rushed off to the Fish and Pond Place down the road to buy a very expensive water lily in celebration.

For three days I continued to beam with pride. On the fourth day I noticed it looked a little cloudy and zapped it with a dose of 'Kill the Algae but save the Planet' powder that I'd been sold when I bought the water lily. By the sixth day it looked like pea soup and on the seventh day? I gave up and threw more fish food in. Even the water lily looks as if it's decided to expire in disgust.

But....at least the fish are happy!

AND . . . this is the reason that I insisted on buying an apartment in my 1/9th of a converted church with only a small, paved courtyard and absolutely NO room for a pony!

lol

Jayne :)

Driftwood Horses

2008-12-02T01:11:00.006+02:00

So clever and beautiful, I just had to share this astonishing artform with you!
Apologies - seems my link to the news article went to a strange and weird place - aren't computers the pits?? I have repaired it - you are all too kind not to have mentioned it! LOL

Laugh and the world laughs with you?

2008-11-27T23:07:00.002+02:00

Christmas blues hit the High Street!

One thing the Great British Public haven't lost, thank goodness, is their sense of humour!

Strictly Come Dancing goes Strictly Political!

2008-11-20T12:29:00.006+02:00

Who could possibly forget John Sergeant's Paso Doble? Or, for that matter, most of his other dances with the gorgeous Kristina Rihanoff over the past few weeks? I think it's a crying shame that he feels pressured to leave the competition after last weeks Results Show and a few nasty remarks made by the judges and the booted off competitor.

We watch John and Kristina because they make the show fun and entertaining. They prove that not only the young, good looking and fit can have fun learning to dance. We love Kristina's amazing choreographic skills that compensate for John's lack of dancing ability. Basically, the Great British Public love to watch someone like John go out there and do what many of us would secretly love to do if we only had the courage!

As for the judges saying that this is a dance competition, I dispute that! If the public's opinion wasn't wanted, then they shouldn't give us the opportunity to vote for our FAVOURITE celeb! This is as much about being a popularity contest as it is about the dancing - past shows have proved that when people like Julian Clary were voted back in show after show despite his poor dancing skills - even worse than John's I would say. If the celebs can't accept that they are not as popular as they perhaps thought, then they shouldn't put themselves up for a contest like this. If the judges are unhappy about a non-dancer getting through week after week, then they should change the nature of the show and not ask for public opinion.

A sad farewell to John Sergeant then - I think the show will loose much of its sparkle as a result of his decision to leave. Sure there are many better celebrity dancers still hanging in there but none as much fun nor as obviously popular with the public as John. Please watch the video clip as a Lasting Tribute to John Sergeant and the Incomparable Kristina Rihanoff - and enjoy!

(please excuse the size of the embedded video clip - I don't seem to be able to edit it!)

Oh the joys of working in a computer shop!

2008-11-18T15:46:00.004+02:00

Being technologically challenged can be quite a handicap when working in a computer shop! Mind you, since many of my customers are no less challenged than myself, it can make for some interesting conversations and amusing moments.

Take a typical day in the life of Jayne! Customer walks in with a small piece of paper,

"The man next door who knows EVERYTHING about computers, tells me I need one of these?"
(hands over small piece of paper with random numbers and squiggles on it)
"Um . . . what exactly is the problem with your computer then?"
"Well, I'm not sure but the man next door says this will fix it!"
(grab paper and rush into back office, looking for help from First Born Son, who has NO idea of what the squiggles on paper are either and is on the telephone to important potential customer wanting to buy expensive new gaming computer!)
"I'm sorry but the technician suggests you might like to bring your computer in so we can have a look at it to ascertain the problem" (smiling politely)
"I already have the guy next door who says he can fix it!" (sounding a little peeved!) "I just need that part!"
"Perhaps you could get your man next door to phone us and describe the part he needs then? These squiggles don't really help us much. Do you know what part of the computer is broken?"
"It was making a funny noise."
"Ah! Could it be from the fan perhaps?"
"No, I don't have a fan!"
"Um, most computers do have a fan inside them."
"Oh well, I don't know about that - I'm not very computer savvy, but the man next door didn't say anything about a fan when he took the back off?"
"Tell you what! Here's my card - tell him to phone and I'll get one of the technicians to speak to him. Perhaps they can figure it out between them!" (gritting teeth and SMILING!)
"Well, I'll have to see what he says - he's very busy you know and I don't want to put him out!"

Turn to long line of other customers patiently waiting, smile and say, "May I help you?"

Seriously, it's fun and I've met some lovely people in the shop. Just wish we all knew what we were talking about?

Man shocked at being run over by OAP!

2008-11-17T23:43:00.005+02:00

Well here's something I found in our local rag that I thought might amuse you too.

Seems all this poor guy was doing was taking his dogs for a walk to the shops when a lunatic OAP (aged 89) ran him over! Obviously not only sight impaired but also hearing impaired, this 'hit and run' old gent calmly parked his car and went shopping while his victim lay groaning on the road with various broken bones, leaving bemused passersby to call an ambulance!

Police have not prosecuted as the OAP has voluntarily given up his driver's licence since the incident!

Open Season on Shoplifters!

2008-11-17T22:55:00.003+02:00

What a wonderful world we live in when some people seem to feel that they can just help themselves to your stuff. This week I had my first experience of shoplifters in our little computer shop - and very pissed off I am too!

What is even sadder is that we get so many very nice youngsters in the shop and now I find myself looking at them ALL with great suspicion thanks to a small group of out-of-control louts that don't deserve the oxygen they breathe!

What is wrong with parents today that they can't even teach their children a little respect - for themselves as well as for others?

Bah Humbug!

I Dream of Africa

2008-11-16T23:38:00.005+02:00

Some time ago I left my home,
far away in the African sun.
I boarded a plane for a foreign land,
my new life had begun.

But still some nights as I drift away,
I hear a cricket's call.
My mind wanders off to another place.
to Acacia trees, proud and tall.

I dream of my home in Africa,
of a place so wild and free.
I remember well my garden,
in the shade of the giant fig tree.

It's not that I regret my new life,
or wish to be somewhere else.
It's just that I dream of Africa,
of a wild and untamed place.

The Street that The Council Forgot!

2008-10-30T23:32:00.009+02:00

I've never been a very political person. Generally I just 'go with the flow' and fit in. Moving to the UK has changed my somewhat passive approach to life as I begin to more fully understand (or in this case NOT understand!) the workings of British Bureaucracy. This particular incidence of British Bureaucracy has SO incensed me that I just have to MAKE A STATEMENT!

Some time back the East Sussex Council came up with a marvellous scheme to inflict a paid parking scheme on the sleepy little town of Eastbourne. Despite the protestations of both the Eastbourne City Council and the Residents, this scheme was pushed through to become a reality about a week ago. Now I could go on about all the inconveniences the scheme has brought to both the shop owners and workers in the town centre and the sudden drop in business that many small high street shops have been subject to since the scheme came into effect but I feel that as this matter has been sufficiently addressed over the past few months with no sensible result, I would rather stick to my own 'inconvenience'.

So . . . pass the soapbox please!

Several months ago the Jayne family moved into their own little bit of Heaven - a 1/9th share of a converted church to be exact. This church is in a RESIDENTIAL part of Eastbourne Town Centre - on the Street that The Council Forgot. When we moved in here about four months ago, we made a special trip to the local council to purchase a resident's parking permit that would allow us to park on the road outside our new home, only to be told that we didn't need to worry since the new parking scheme didn't affect our street. I suppose we should have been more suspicious at the time but, being a bit ignorant of local laws, we accepted what we were told and have been parking outside our new home in ignorant bliss ever since.

Hah! The very first day of the new rules and we got a parking ticket! As did EVERY single car in the street! Shock was soon followed by indignation. A quick check of the Council's web site showed an interesting state of affairs - our street is just outside their new parking area. It still carries a '2 hour, no return 2 hours' parking restriction and The Council refuses to sell us resident's parking permits because (wait for it) we don't fall into the new area. So far, despite several emails and even a direct visit to their offices, they seem unable to tell me where I can obtain such an item. In fact, they really don't care one iota for my troubles!

So I, and all the other street residents, are now left with one of two options. Either we park illegally and run the risk of £30 parking tickets or we rush out every two hours and move our cars to another street, only to return to our own one two hours later! Does no-one else see the ridiculousness of this situation? If we lived just one street over we'd be eligible for a permit!

Right now I feel very discriminated against! Is it yet another case of "all being equal, just some more so than others" or simple stupidity?

Bah Humbug!

The Mouse in my Garden - in technicolour!

2008-10-23T00:18:00.007+02:00

Now I have found the photo the Girl Child took of our daily visitor, here he is, for your delight, in FULL TECHNICOLOUR! Enjoy :)

There's a mouse in my garden, a big one for sure!
I saw him tonight as I opened the door.
He looked right at me with eyes bright and bold,
As he nibbled on bread, thrown out of old.
We nodded politely and seemed to agree,
there was room in the garden for both him and me!

A cat jumped down off the garden fence,
It was large and white and on the offense.
I got quite a shock as it flew right by,
A blur of white that fell from the sky!
It really was the most dreadful sight,
And the mouse leapt up in a terrible fright,
Then the cat rushed forward and banged its head,
As the mouse scurried off and under the shed!

This morning I woke with some trepidation,
stumbled downstairs in some hesitation.
As I switched on the kettle, I looked out to see,
only one, thank goodness, not four and not three!
And, if I am honest, I felt rather mean
as he looked right at me, "what, no bread to be seen?"

And then, peering over the roof of the shed,
was that a big, white, furry head?
Ears pricked with intent and whiskers aquiver?
I looked at the mouse and felt myself shiver!
I need not have worried, that's one clever mouse,
As he ran under the shed, I stepped back into the house!

No mouse this morning, I do feel bereft.
I imagine he's cross and so he has left.
He's packed up his bags and gathered his friends,
sadly it seems that here my tale ends!

Burn Baby, Burn!

2008-09-12T14:19:00.004+02:00

Would you believe someone set the council flats next door on fire yesterday? Now, while I can understand WHY someone might feel like this was a good idea (they really are a BLIGHT on the landscape of an otherwise rather beautiful row of Victorian houses and, of course ,MY CHURCH!), I am a little confused as to why I saw or heard nothing until a very polite policewoman came knocking on my door!

This brings me to ask a rather pertinent question as to the City Father's planning (or lack thereof) policies? I have to assume that back in the dark and unenlightened times of the 1970's, building by-laws didn't exist. Every time I walk down my street I look at this abomination of architectural disaster and wonder how it was EVER allowed to be built in such an otherwise beautiful area? It brings down the whole tone of the area - not only in its own ugliness but also in the usually ugly people who live there.

Now, before you all jump on me for making unkind comments on the unfortunate appearance of my neighbours, it wasn't their looks I was commenting on but rather their souls. The type of people who usually end up in ugly council flats are mostly of the ugly soul variety too. They seem to be uncouth, loud and without charm or manners. Certainly the ones living next door to me fall into that category.

This moves me onto another line of good British thought. Many of my neighbours are foreigners, and what a lovely bunch they are for the most. We don't always understand each other as we nod, smile and say good morning but we are always polite and friendly. These are the supposed 'dregs' of lesser countries, mostly eastern European. Don't you know they come here to steal the jobs from the poor, under priviledged British working class? The same poor, under priviledged occupants that set the council flats on fire next door? The ones that have never had a job in their life and have no intention of getting one either - after all, it may interfere with their loud, obnoxious lifestyles at the tax payer's expense (that's right folks - tax payers like you and me!).

Which brings me full circle - burn baby, BURN!

Coffee anyone?

SKY Digital - are they serious?

2008-09-08T23:04:00.004+02:00

It's been a frustrating few weeks trying to get my newly transferred Sky broadband connection up and running. This is my first serious contact with the faceless mega-corporations of the civilised west and I am less than impressed! If anything could've made me pack my bags and scuttle back to supposedly backward Zambia, SKY certainly came very close. I think I can safely say that I have NEVER had such ineffective service (or should I say lack of service!) ever, anywhere!

My sorry saga all started after we bought our own little bit of heaven (an apartment in a converted church actually) and started the application to have our broadband service transferred from out rented house to the new premises. All seemed pretty straight forward when talking to a Sky representative on the phone and we proceeded to follow her instructions, expecting to be properly connected after the promised 10 days. Well, what she neglected to tell us was that it took 10 days to disconnect from the first premise and a further 10 days to reconnect at the new place! Mind you, it took us two days and several long telephone calls to find out this important piece of information when the internet didn't kick in on the expected due date. This was just a taster of the irritation and frustrations to come!

Another 10 days later and we STILL had no promised connection. This is when the real fun started! I've lost count of the number of telephone calls made and the many different Sky employees I spoke to. I got to visit call centres in Mumbai, Northern Ireland and Scotland. I wrote down the names of dozens of technical support people (each call was dealt with by someone different!) and repeated my story with ever increasing irritation from one department to another for 3 weeks, each time spending at least 30 minutes on hold between departments. I had 'tickets' opened and closed, I had 'ping' tests, 'line' tests and many unfulfilled promises of 'call backs' - all to no avail!

I begged, I pleaded and I threatened. Slowly and insidiously they wore me down with their "I'm sorry but I can only pass you on to our ....... department for action - do you mind being put on hold?" Of course I minded but what bloody choice did I have? One 'on hold' session lasted 58 minutes and 12 seconds (I know this because I timed it) before my phone ran out of battery power and went dead! Finally I wrote a stinker of an email to them and then discovered that there are NO facilities to email complaints! I googled and found websites with thousands of dissatisfied Sky customers and chat rooms to commiserate in. It was in one of these that I eventually found an email address for them and sent my email off. All I have received so far is a computer generated standard reply....thanking me for my feedback!

We do have a happy ending but not due to any brilliant service provided by Sky. The First Born Son went onto the BT website and discovered that we could ask for a line test directly, which we did on Saturday night. About midday on Sunday we got a call back from them and about 10 minutes later my broadband was connected and WORKING!

While I have to admit that nearly every person I spoke to in Sky was pleasant, sympathetic and friendly, they were of absolutely no use in helping me to solve my problem. They were a product of this impersonal and faceless system that just kept me running round in circles with no obvious recourse. I think I can safely say it was the most appalling experience I have ever had dealing with a company, anywhere in the world!

Poor neglected blog.....

2008-09-06T16:29:00.003+02:00

My poor neglected blog! I really do feel terribly guilty about it but somehow circumstances have dictated that I hardly ever get the chance to visit it, let alone write in it these days.

Take my efforts to get re-connected on my SKY Broadband since we moved into our new, now permanent home. Having given them official notice of intent to move home on the 1st August, I see we are now on the 6th September and STILL not connected! Technically, according to them, we were connected on the 21st August and I have been fighting with them ever since. I have NEVER known such a fiasco in my life, not even in my darkest internet days in Zambia, where they at least had a genuine reason for the poor connection - someone forgot to fill the generator up with diesel again! Here in this civilised part of the western world however, they seem incapable of finding the problem let alone fixing it. They also seem unable to answer a telephone, provide a service and use a phone to phone you back? I know there is quite a high rate of illiteracy in the UK but I would have expected Internet Technicians to be able to use a telephone at least?

As you can tell, my frustration levels are increasing daily with calls to Sky TV/Broadband being the most useless method of getting hold of someone who can actually fix a problem while costing a great deal of money in the process. Something that they really don't care about as they put you on hold, yet again, for hours on end. You think I am exaggerating? I timed my 'on hold' session yesterday morning - the phone line went dead after 58mins 12secs!

So far I have chatted with several friendly but hard to understand people in Mumbai. I have visited with many cheerful people in Northern Ireland and taken delight in talking to some very sympathetic people in Scotland BUT.....the bottom line is I STILL HAVE NO BROADBAND! I am in despair - I have no idea what to do next!

Any helpful (and legal!) suggestions would be welcomed!

Computers for the Confused!

2008-06-02T21:34:00.002+02:00

My first brush with the 'personal computer' was an old 386 back in 1991. Being the part owner of a construction company (the part that did all the secretarial work!) that my husband had started a few years before, when it came time to retire my old electric typewriter he decided it really was time to get computerised. I fought long and hard - all I wanted was a fancy new electronic typewriter - but in the end, after being told that this new computer would DO everything, I capitulated and the 386 came to live in our office.

It was UGLY! It took up too much space and it just SAT there on my desk, staring blankly at me! I was told it 'did the books' and it 'typed letters'. It was supposed to be the beginning of the 'paperless office' and the ultimate time saver. I switched it on and little white letters and symbols floated about on a black screen - unintelligible gibberish and hard to read at that! I tried to type and it produced a string of gibberish and requests to 'press enter'?? After a week of this frustrating behaviour, I shoved it on the floor and retrieved my electric typewriter from the cupboard! And then, we employed a 'computer man' to tame the wild beast!

I did eventually come to understand the basics of MsDos and even managed to get to grips with letter typing but that really was about as far as it got. The First Born, on the other hand, had a strange affinity with this monstrous machine from the very beginning. He was only 10 or 11 when it arrived and it took him only a few short weeks to master it and there began his fascination and understanding of all things computer. He would spend hours after school programming it and changing settings and generally making sure his mother would have the hardest time getting into it the next morning when he was at school! We eventually came to an understanding - if he changed anything on it, he would have to put a 'post-it' on the screen with simple instructions on how to switch on and find my work. All was well until it blew itself up a couple of years later and into our lives came the mighty 486 Pentium.

Weren't we proud of our new baby? Along with this latest technology came Windows, WYSIWYG, mice and mousepads! It also came with a full colour monitor and lots of RAM, ROM, floppy drives, stiffy drives and (my personal favourite!) a place to plug a set of earphones in! I also remember having some fantastic programmes that I could print transfers for t/shirts with and a really great desktop publisher that could make columns and insert pictures. I felt technically rich beyond belief! I remember doing the in house magazine for our Arab Horse Society that year and what a pleasure it was compared to previous years. By then the First Born was a whizz with computers and had gone on to complete his City and Guilds certificates with flying colours to become a fully trained Computer Technician.

As I sit here typing this on my little laptop, it's hard to remember what a mission it was in the early days - how big the machines were and how little they were able to do! I suppose, if I were to think about, the speed with which new technology develops and grows is quite amazing and it is very hard to keep up sometimes. I like to think that I was a pioneer of earlier days!

And when it comes to understanding all this new technology, all I can say is - thank god for teenagers!

Ireverently Poetry!

2008-05-10T11:50:00.001+02:00

Have you heard the world is flat?
So what do you think about that?
It could explain why no-one's here,
they fell off the edge, or so I fear!

And evolution never happened.
Darwin's theories? All flattened!
The dinosaurs, just one great joke,
Old bones buried to just confuse folk.

Our world created all new and sleek.
God must have been very bored that week!
Each perfect critter standing tall,
I'm amazed he had the time at all?

Each day when I crawl out of bed,
the sound of nature rings in my head.
Not so blind that I can not see,
Evolution working all around me!

The Mouse in My Garden

2008-03-18T04:22:00.006+02:00

There's a mouse in my garden, a big one for sure!
I saw him tonight as I opened the door.
He looked right at me with eyes bright and bold,
As he nibbled on bread thrown out of old.
We nodded politely and seemed to agree,
there was room in the garden for both him and me!

A cat jumped down off the garden fence,
It was large and white and on the offense.
I got quite a shock as it flew right by,
A blurr of white that fell from the sky!
It really was the most dreadful sight,
And the mouse leapt up in a terrible fright,
Then the cat leapt forward and banged its head,
As the mouse scurried off and under the shed!

This morning, when I looked out the door,
first I saw one and then saw one more!
And then, as I reached for my tea,
I looked again and now there were three!
What seemed so appealing now seems no more.
What if tomorrow I find there are FOUR??

This morning I woke with some trepidation,
and stumbled downstairs in some hesitation.
As I switched on the kettle and looked out to see,
only one, thank goodness, not four and not three!
And if I am honest, I felt rather mean
as he looked right at me, "what, no bread to be seen?"

And then, peering over the roof of the shed,
was that a big, white, furry head?
Ears pricked with intent and whiskers aquiver?
I looked at the mouse and felt myself shiver!
I need not have worried, that's one clever mouse,
As he ran under the shed, I stepped back into the house!

No mouse this morning, I do feel bereft.
I imagine he's cross and so he has left.
He's packed up his bags and gathered his friends,
sadly it seems that here my tale ends!

At last - I am returned! :)

2008-03-10T00:58:00.004+02:00

Sorry about that folks - yet another move and yet another wait to be connected, but at least we should be in this house for some months to come now! So here I sit (on a garden chair since my lounge suite has STILL not been delivered!) in my new little house, watching my fancy new flat screen TV and checking my email for the first time in two weeks - gosh, what a LOT of junk mail! I often wonder what would happen if we could all just push a button and magically send all that junk mail 'back to sender' - just imagine the chaos on their computer as MILLIONS of unwanted junk megabytes came flying back into their mailboxes, and imagine if it all happened AT THE SAME TIME? I would call it fair revenge!

Seems we are in for some really bad weather along the south coast of England from early tomorrow morning. Gale force winds and rain with possible flooding - it sounds pretty awful! It will be the first really bad weather we've had since arriving in this 'green and pleasant' land and I can't say I'm looking forward to it one bit! While it may be a good excuse to stay in bed tomorrow, it will severely limit my popping out the back door for a ciggie with my coffee in the morning. According to the TV weather report, we can expect winds of up to 80 miles per hour - that should make lighting a ciggie just a tad difficult I should think?

Onward and upward I always say!

Spending your money the English way!

2008-02-22T15:38:00.003+02:00

Or at least trying to! Today we came up against the new order of 'Don't bother to use your initiative, you've already lost it!' syndrome and how very frustrating that is!

Being the organised people we are (and due to the inordinate waiting period between paying for your goods and actually getting a delivery date!), about a month ago we ordered and paid for two lovely, luxury model, brand spanking new beds from a well known furniture showroom. Oh what joy and celebration! The only problem - a very minor one the salesman assured us as he gleefully took our cash (debit card actually) - was that we couldn't give the correct delivery address since we had not yet confirmed the new rental with the estate agents. Now for those of my readers that live in the UK, I'm sure you all started nodding your heads wisely as soon as I mentioned those magic words 'correct delivery address' - be honest now, didn't you?

No problem said the salesman, just phone this number nearer the time and they will change it for you. Oh yeah right! Get real! Phoning the number was only the START of the right royal runaround we've just had these past two days! OK, for those of you who mistakenly thought that once you had bought and paid for your goods, you could pretty much expect to have use of them wherever you deemed fit - here is a valuable lesson in British Red Tape and The Circular Reasoning (or not, as the case may be!) Powers of Delivery Personnel. We are still reeling and the hubby says that "if the damn beds don't arrive at the right bloody address on Monday then he wants his damn &&**%£$""**&&%%%%£££ money back!"

Firstly - are you who you say you are? This is a VERY good question I suppose but quite hard to answer on the phone? Better, we thought, to go back to the store as suggested by the person on the other end of the phone, with receipt in hand and sort that one out there?

Next, do you have proof that you are legally the person living at the address you want the delivery changed to? A bit difficult this one since we haven't moved in yet but, yes, we do have the receipt from the estate agent for all those exorbitant 'fees' we had to pay out (per person!) for the credit check (we are paying the rent six months in advance anyway?) with the new address clearly PRINTED on it, will that do? Oh yes said the store manager with a happy smile as he faxed all this information directly from his store to the delivery department.

Oh NO, said the delivery department when they phoned again that night to inform us that this simply wasn't sufficient proof! So what more do you require said hubby with teeth firmly clamped? You need to go into the store with passport and sign an indemnity form and fax it to us said not now so chirpy delivery person! I will email you the form right now, this very minute, I promise!

Still no form this morning sighed hubby, I'd better phone them I suppose? Something like five phone calls later (and £8 in phone charges!!) the form has arrived - it has been dutifully filled in, scanned (with copy of passport) and emailed back to delivery person.

AND......as my hubby says,
IF THEY DON'T DELIVER THOSE ***%%$$**""££***%%$$ BEDS ON MONDAY, AND WITH A SMILE AND INTO THE RIGHT ROOMS AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRCASE WITHOUT COMPLAINT - I WANT HIS MONEY BACK!

British bureaucracy gone mad!

Some pubs I have known......

2008-02-21T19:07:00.006+02:00

The hubby and I have started a new family tradition since arriving in these fair isles. Mostly this is due to a general disinclination on the part of himself, myself and the girl child to cook and a certain 'stir craziness' that the man in my life is suffering from couped up in this rather small apartment. It usually starts as a shopping trip to the local supermarket and ends up somewhere in the countryside at some quaint little wayside pub.

This week's find is the Lamb Inn in Hooe (absolutely NO idea how you pronounce that one!). This is, so far, one of the nicest and most pleasant pubs we have discovered. Set just off the road and surrounded by open farm land, it has the traditional look and feel of 'ye olde' English pub and an excellent menu with cheerful and efficient staff. Prices are reasonable and they do offer a special Sunday Roast Lunch (we plan to go back and try that too). A delight in every way and it comes highly recommended by the Jayne family for good food, attractive traditional surroundings and a pleasant and helpful staff.

We give it 5 stars :)

Tagged!

2008-02-16T15:35:00.008+02:00

Thank you Keith :)

Tagged hey? Mmmmm - let me think!

The rules are :

* link to the person who tagged you
* post the rules on your blog
* share six non-important things/ habits/ quirks about yourself
* tag at least 3 people at the end of the post and link to their blogs
* let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

OK - I think I can manage this - lol
link to Keith - my favourite travelling rat http://travelrat.wordpress.com/
Rules? done!
Six totally unimportant and irrelevant details of my everyday life? see below!
1. I wear socks with cute teddy bears on them.
2. I am a chocoholic.
3. I eat too much cheesecake.
4. I have a nifty new pair of furry brown boots.
5. I have NEVER been able to touch my toes.
6. I hate cooking dinner!

newly tagged: Mutters http://muttars.blogspot.com/
Toadee http://thechurchoftheterminallybemused.blogspot.com/
Krazy Blonde http://krazyblonde-kb.blogspot.com/

Well that took longer than expected! Doesn't it always?
LOL

Here lies the body of...............??

2008-02-16T15:02:00.006+02:00

They say a picture is worth a thousand words? Well this one is of the building site next door snapped from my balcony this morning! I say it is the jack hammer operator who has been mysteriously quiet since yesterday - and no, I didn't pay anyone!

In Praise of His Noodly Appendages!

2008-02-15T23:42:00.002+02:00

A Prayer of Thanks!

Spaghetti! Spaghetti!
You’re wonderful stuff,
I love you spaghetti,
I can’t get enough,
You’re covered with sauce
And you’re sprinkled with cheese,
Spaghetti! Spaghetti!
Oh, give me some please.
Spaghetti! Spaghetti!
Piled high in a mound,
You wiggle, you wriggle,
You squiggle around.
There’s slurpy spaghetti
All over my plate.
Spaghetti! Spaghetti!
I think you are great.

(by Jack Prelutsky)

Attack of the vicious blind eating Vacuum Cleaner!

2008-02-14T17:17:00.004+02:00

Today I woke up motivated! Time to clean, and I mean REALLY clean the apartment - especially the kitchen which has been a trifle neglected due to 'lack of interest and be damned' syndrome! In some weird masochistic way, it was actually quite satisfying to scrub the stove, clean out the fridge and generally wash and scrub every surface - seen and unseen!

One of the strange things I have discovered since being in the UK is "Grey Fluff". This annoying substance seems to get everywhere which is quite a mystery to me considering that the apartment is pretty much a sealed unit and I have yet to figure out where the damn stuff comes from! Don't wash the floor for a couple of days and it looks like a Yeti's been moulting in there! Today's cleaning attack included a thorough vacuum of the kitchen floor before a good old wash and scrub (I have a nifty little machine to do that too!) and so there I was, cheerfully zooming around the kitchen with the vacuum when......OH MY GOD............

Some silly fool had left the blind strings draped over the floor. I suspect this was due to a lazy disinclination to properly wind them around that handy dandy little hook thoughtfully provided for the purpose? I promise, I never saw them - the first I realised I had a problem of serious proportions was a CLUNK, followed by the vacuum cleaner leaping up the wall with a scream of protest and a wisp of smoke curling out! Now I just KNOW I can hear you all yelling "SWITCH IT OFF YOU IDIOT!" and to be honest that was also my very first thought too, quickly followed by a realisation that in order to do that I had to get to the FOOT operated switch which was hastily getting out of reach as the vacuum voraciously ate the string and headed for the ceiling.

I lunged, the vacuum screamed and the blind protested - for a split second the world stood still. With a resounding crash I reached the off button at about the same time as the blind gave way and we all tumbled to the ground in unison. This wouldn't be so bad if this wasn't a rented apartment, with rented vacuum cleaners and rented blinds!

But never fear - I HAVE TAMED THE BEAST AND RETURNED ALIVE!
(and when I find out which lazy swine was the original cause of this drama, they'll be lucky to return at all!)

And so the saga ends......

2008-02-12T18:48:00.000+02:00

I just HAD to give you all the ending to the printer and postage stamp saga! After all that drama hubby left here, letter in hand, to find a postbox. Missing the one at the bottom of the road, he figured there were bound to be lots on route to his appointment with the Accountant - no worries!

He ended up at the main post office in town! Like I said, quicker to have just bought a stamp :)

And just to print a stamp?

2008-02-12T15:10:00.000+02:00

OK - so we have lift off! The printer is printing yet still the muttering continues............

And to think that all this angst was to PRINT A STAMP on an envelope to pop in the post? I can't help thinking (but definitely NOT saying!) that if he'd just jumped into the car and gone to the post office, the letter would be well on its way by now?

Ah well, I'm sure it will be a very useful thing to know how to do for the next letter we have to post! :)

(assuming, of course, that there is a letter box close at hand and we don't need to use the post office?)

The Mystery of the Incompatible Printer!

2008-02-12T14:17:00.000+02:00

As I sit here looking out the window at the beautiful day, there is a muttering (getting louder!) in the background! Yesterday we bought a NEW printer, a printer of fabulous proportions and snazzy new colours. It does everything from scanning to photo printing, in fact it is a wonder to behold, a joy of modern technology and ergonomic design! The only problem is it refuses to be installed on the hubby's rather fancy laptop which operates on Windows Vista!

Now since it seems that every new computer comes with Vista as the operating system these days, it does seem odd that any new printer would not be compatible? He has entered the dark and dangerous waters of the Epson web site, followed the freely given instructions and downloaded the THREE different programmes required to ensure compatibility but still it refuses to comply!

Oh woe - is that yet another wail of despair I hear in the ether? Is that another diabolical and interesting description of Epson and printers in general I hear?

Isn't it wonderful to be part of this new and exciting Technological Age?

Good Morning - Just have some fun :)

2008-02-11T02:45:00.000+02:00

Maukie - the virtual catWidgetboxGOOD MORNING!

On the Balcony

2008-02-06T19:29:00.001+02:00

Sitting on my balcony,
watching the slate gray sea.
I watch the seagulls flying high,
against the wind, above me.

Clouds race across the sky.
The mighty wind blows out of reach.
White horses in the breakers,
rearing and crashing on the beach

A sudden lull, a quiet moment.
Sunshine reflecting on water, broken.
Clouds ragged and breaking, racing
leaving only a small token
of the gray day behind.

A dozen interesting things about living in the UK.

2008-02-02T00:31:00.000+02:00

It's been nearly a month since I arrived - here are a dozen things I have learned!

1. People crossing the road always wait until you're almost on the crossing before pressing the button.
2. Walking down the high street requires determination and courage if you want to walk in a straight line.
3. Dog owners only 'scoop the poop' if they think someone is watching!
4. It's impossible to tell whether an 'Emo' is male or female to a bemused observer.
5. Scarves always get caught in the car door when the wind slams it shut.
6. Seagulls always shit on our car.
7. Never go out without an extra woolly jumper - this moment's sunshine can be next minute's howling gale.
8. Smoking on a balcony can be hazardous to the people on the terrace below.
9. Don't assume that things or people work better because it's England - they cock it up here too!
10. Internet connections are frustrating no matter where you live.
11. Little old ladies in supermarkets should NOT be given trolleys!
12. Parking spaces are never wide enough to actually get out the car after you've parked.

Have a nice day! :)

Pastafarian and Proud!

2008-02-01T10:56:00.000+02:00

It's official! I am now a practising Pastafarian of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

I found this wonderful new religion while browsing through the internet one bored and lonely day and spent a few giggle filled hours reading its history and its plans for a better and brighter future for the world. As a proclaimed Agnostic, I was hooked! I have yet to find a more sensible approach to the world's problems and so bow down to His Noodliness and offer my small and insignificant self in His service for the Greater Good and the Furtherment of Mankind.

Long live the FSM!

Psssst! If you want to know more about His Noodles, check out the link, top right on my tool bar :)

Oh how the sun doth shine!

2008-01-28T22:50:00.000+02:00

What lovely weekend weather! The sun came out - along with the fishermen, the dogs and their owners, the joggers and the yachts! The tide obligingly went out for a not too early stroll along the beach where lots of people with buckets were rooting in the sand for 'things' - mussels and cockles I assume? Or something along those lines - lol

So, yes the sun DOES shine in England :)

Impressions of Eastbourne

2008-01-20T21:29:00.000+02:00

It's been a couple of weeks now since we stepped off the plane and onto the green hills of England and, while not yet properly settled into our own place, we are beginning to find our feet I think? Eastbourne is a lovely little (by English standards at least!) town. Even with the mostly gray skies and windy weather! Actually we have been very fortunate to have a few sunny days and I have to admit that it isn't anywhere near as cold as I expected - quite invigorating in fact, so long as you don't stay outside for too long and wear a woolly hat and furry coat. :)

Our first and most pressing task is to find a more permanent home than the out of season holiday let we took on over the internet before we left Zambia. It's a pleasant, if rather small, apartment right on the beach in the prestigious area of Sovereign Harbour. I like this modern new development but find it very lacking in the privacy that I am used to. I have been looking at other rentals in this area - they seem very expensive for the space on offer and I am intrigued by this idea of a 'Juliette balcony' that isn't actually a balcony but rather iron railings in front of a french door, three floors up? Maybe I need to practise my Shakespeare? Personally I can't help feeling that someone, somewhere is conning somebody?

My other personal favourite is the advertising blurb on lettings - 'parking on first served basis'!! What happens if you are NEVER the first one there? Driving up and down narrow little roads between rows of parked cars is very daunting! It is a unique experience for us third world bumpkins and I am seriously thinking of getting a bicycle! My other puzzlement is why anyone would build a four or five bedroomed house and only install ONE bathroom?? So, as you can imagine, finding a house is going to be difficult - it has to have off road parking, I absolutely refuse to fight for a place to park every day when I come home, and it has to have two bathrooms - or at least a separate loo. It also seems that there is a serious shortage of rentable property in and around Eastbourne at the moment - do you think they heard we were coming?

No smoking! Yes, this is indeed a pain in the butt for me! I really don't mind the not smoking inside public places but I must admit I do like to be able to sit in a comfy chair at home and have a puff with my coffee after dinner. At the moment I am reduced to standing on the balcony (not a Juliette one thank goodness) in the gale force winds blowing straight off the sea, dressed like an Eskimo, just to have a ciggie! In the mornings I get to watch these mad English people fighting against the wind and rain, walking their dogs and at night I can watch the flashlights of some crazy fishing people who seem to be out in all weather! It has reduced my consumption which is a good thing I suppose but I hate this being told what to do and where to do it - just the rebel in me I suppose!

So......it is onward and upward from here I hope. Once we find a house I will feel much more settled - at the moment it still feels like we are only here on holiday!

Hello from sunny England! (ahem!)

2008-01-17T21:27:00.000+02:00

Just to let all my friends know I am still alive and FINALLY reconnected to the internet! We are still settling into our new life and trying to get things sorted out (just the little things in life, like where to live!) but I promise to update this very neglected blog very soon - please bear with me :)

A very Special day :)

2007-11-16T14:05:00.001+02:00

Today the girl child turned 18!

No longer a child and legally an adult - how time seems to have flown by! Seems not so long ago she was still that little blond, pigtailed girl climbing trees, riding her little shetland pony and singing loudly in the bath :)

Now I look at her and see a beautiful young woman - kind and brave, generous and strong. I see a talented artist, a wicked sense of humour and a strength of character that makes me very proud to be her mother.

Most of all, I see this wonderful person that is my daughter!

Happy Birthday :)

Yes! I saw The Tortoise!

2007-11-15T13:23:00.000+02:00

It turns out that a friend of mine , who is a wildlife warden, has The Tortoise living a safe and comfortable life at her house until further notice. So....I not only saw The Tortoise but the tiny skeleton too! :)

Shame, poor thing came to her with the skull (only, very disappointing!) of some medium sized animal GLUED to its back. It was swathed in feathers and other black magical items and was obviously sent as a very important 'final warning' indeed! She tells me this is actually the third tortoise to have been used in this manner (she has them all in her garden) and that they all look as if they have come from the very same witchdoctor/traditional healer and that it is unlikely that the case will be solved as the police are rather scared and would prefer for it all to just go away.

She has promised copies of the pictures she took when the tortoise arrived so, as soon as I get them I will post them here for you.

Isn't it exciting to know a 'celebrity' ?

Another day in the life...

2007-11-10T20:26:00.000+02:00

So much to do, so little time to get it all done so it seems! The Jayne family are moving yet again, and this time it's to the other side of the world - not just a little further north in Africa!

The final decision has been made - we are moving to the UK and expect to be gone by January. It's been a tough decision but, I really do believe, the right decision for us at this time in our lives. The girl child is ready to start a new phase in her education and this means an Art College in the UK. The two boys are already settled over there and this mother feels a need to be with her whole family now - there are no more Jayne family members left here in Africa, so time to move.

I will still keep in touch with the happenings in Zambia and I will continue to post about them but there will also be a whole new exciting phase of my life starting - in Eastbourne, UK! One part of me is excitedly looking forward to the change in direction, the other is clinging rather apprehensively to the old.

Whatever the future brings, you can be sure I will share it with you here - on my blog :)

A tale of a tortoise and a pigeon...

2007-11-07T23:38:00.000+02:00

Ndola family in bizarre find

By Times Reporter

NDOLA residents were yesterday shocked when they found a tortoise carrying a tiny unidentified animal skeleton and a letter demanding payment of over K38 million from a local businessman. The tortoise was discovered by some people going for work around 06:00 hours outside the gate of 7 President Avenue and carrying a letter addressed to the occupant of the house. The workers then decided to inform the occupants of the house and later Ndola Central police station about the tortoise which kept on moving around outside the black gate. Copperbelt Province police chief, Anthoniel Mutentwa said police were keeping the tortoise as further investigations were still being carried out.

“The letter is meant for a local businessman Mumena Mushinge written in a foreign language. As at now all I can say is that we have made efforts to get in touch with Mr Mushinge but he is out of town,” he said. Mr Mutentwa said police would finally decide the fate of the tortoise and the unidentified tiny animal skeleton after completing their investigations.

The letter which was written in Swahili a native language of Tanzania reminded Mr Mushinge to pay back the K38,480,000 debt as promised. The author of the letter did not put his name but only left his phone number, a number believed to be serviced by Vodacom in Tanzania.

A Times crew that rushed to the house found the workers and police officers guarding the house. At Central Police Station, Ndola district police chief, Stella Libongani and her men had a tough time to disperse the crowd, which besieged the station wanting to have a glimpse of the tortoise from an unnamed businessman from Sumbawanga in Tanzania. Part of the crowd outside the police station starting chanting ‘‘we want to see the tortoise! We want to see the tortoise! Give us chance to see the tortoise!”

After persistent pressure from the uncompromising crowd, police decided to display the tortoise to the curious on-lookers around 08:00 hours. Mr Mutentwa also confirmed that police were also investigating a similar incident in which a pigeon delivered a letter under suspicious circumstances to house number 14 Katuba street in Luanshya. He said a team of police officers from Luanshya was still pursuing the matter.

A genuine report from our local Newspaper - thought it may amuse and entertain :)

Beautiful Zambia!

2007-11-07T22:18:00.000+02:00

Night falls over the mighty Zambezi.
Gentle lapping water on the river bank.
The sky in hues of orange and gold,
plays tribute to the night

And here I am again....a beggin and a pleadin :)

2007-11-01T20:46:00.001+02:00

Remember, remember to VOTE in November! Gunpowder, treason and plot!

Well maybe that's a bit strong but please carry on voting oh faithful friends - as of today, the new count starts and this humble (ever so humble!) little blog stands yet another chance of getting into the Top 10 - BUT only with your very much appreciated help.

Now wouldn't that be SO cool? :)

SO - CLICK HERE TO VOTE
or you can use the handy dandy link , top left on my sidebar :)
THANKS!

For every time..... there is a Season....

2007-11-01T19:57:00.001+02:00

And in Zambia, it is the rainy season! Well almost! We have had a few thundery showers in October which is a little early but has been very pleasant and has settled the dust a little at least. Just hope it doesn't portend a bad season - last year we had an enormous amount of rain, with even a few rivers flooding. There were days when I wondered if we would ever see the sun again - it was way too much!

So here's to the start of a normal rainy season, green grass and lots of mud!

VOTE FOR ME! please?

2007-10-26T11:23:00.000+02:00

This morning I got an email telling me that I ONLY need 45 more votes to get into the Top10 on my Bloginterviewer interview :)

So here I am, a PLEADIN' and a BEGGIN'!

click*** VOTE FOR ME! ***click

That'll teach me to open my big mouth!

2007-10-25T23:18:00.000+02:00

Even green water would be welcome! Today they switched off the water AGAIN! This time we have been threatened with two water free days - my only hope is that when it comes back again it may not be green?

My squirrels have been very unreliable again too. We have had two power cuts this week so far - each lasting about three hours and always just as I'm cooking dinner and/or as our favourite TV show is about to start! Memo to self - remember to buy more candles tomorrow!!

Gemma the Great Dane decided last night to eat the watch man! Hubby's away so I suspect she thought it was a good idea to remind him that she was on the job - I think I can safely say that he is suitably impressed with this idea and is quite happy to leave her to it! Poor man nearly had a heart attack and, I must admit, she took me by surprise too!

Otherwise life trundles along - it is incredibly hot as we wait, gasping, for the rains to start. Too hot to be very energetic so life is very slow at the moment. Everyone is in a generally bad mood and the drivers on the road are even worse than usual.

Just a normal October in Zambia :)

Hey Happy Cat!

2007-10-25T17:56:00.000+02:00

At last......something to brag about!

2007-10-24T00:30:00.000+02:00

I had actually forgotten about this and then today, an email arrived announcing that my interview with Bloginterviewer was posted!

YAY!!!!!!

Please go and have a look, and if you feel this humble blog deserves it, give a THUMBS UP vote! :)

Here's the link - just CLICK!
http://bloginterviewer.com/education/coffee-anyone-jayne

Thank you friend of the blog!
:)

Going Green....

2007-10-15T21:53:00.001+02:00

Green is the colour of my water supply,
in the morning and at night.
When I bath, I wash my hands.
When I turn on the tap.

Green is the colour of the bubbles in my kettle,
in the morning and at night.
When I boil it, when I pour it,
Down the drain.

Green is the colour of my despair,
in the morning and at night.
Each day hoping, each day praying,
But still no respite!

The deaf leading the deaf?

2007-10-15T21:11:00.000+02:00

My wonderful husband of 23 years is hard of hearing! There, now I've said it :) It's been a progressive deafness over the years and I don't mean to imply that he is DEAF, just that he finds certain sounds harder to hear than others. Sometimes it can be rather annoying to us all and sometimes I have been just that teensiest, weensiest bit suspicious that this deafness can be selective at times?

This weekend we had a house guest, a slightly more deaf friend who was celebrating his 70th birthday. You can imagine the frustrations of trying to talk to TWO deaf men! But, even in these moments of great irritation comes a lighter moment that puts it all into perspective - we were all sitting in the lounge watching the World Cup Rugby, at least they were, I was tapping away on the laptop, trying VERY hard to ignore the blaringly loud TV, when the following conversation suddenly came to my notice:

Hubby " he gets right up my nose!"
Friend " need an angle grinder!"
Confused pause.....
Friend " have to grind them down"
Hubby "grind what?"
Friend "my toenails, need to grind them - too tough for clippers!"
Hubby "where did that come from? seems a bit random?"
Friend "you asked why I didn't cut my toenails!"
Hubby "I was saying so and so got right up my nose!"
Friend "why didn't you say so?"

At this point I was virtually rolling on the floor in laughter. I've had these sort of conversations before but normally as a participant, I haven't really seen the humour in them - this was hysterical - lol

Definitely a case of the deaf leading the deaf!

Domesticated Bliss?

2007-10-04T21:20:00.000+02:00

Today I put on my domesticated housewife hat and got on with sewing that bedcover I've been promising myself I would do for some time now. Actually it was rather fun! It is a thing of beauty (well I think so at least - lol) and makes such a difference to my bedroom that I wish I had just got off my butt and done it ages ago :)

My goodness the weather has turned so hot here now that the butter is even melting in the fridge - I do not lie! I have turned the fridge up from 2 to 4 and we'll see if that helps! Thank goodness for the aircon fitted in the lounge last year, I really don't think I would survive without it. The rest of the house is like an oven - walk into the kitchen and it's like walking into a wall of hot air. I turned the COLD tap on in the bathroom and got very hot water - so hot that I had to snatch my hand from under the tap! Makes me wonder why we don't make more use of solar power here in Zambia?

Speaking of power - seems we are in the middle of a fuel shortage/crisis! Being that I didn't need to put diesel in my car until yesterday (and the fact that I live in a bubble!), I was unaware of the problem until then. Apparently we have been short on petrol for the past week but the diesel shortage only started yesterday. So I got to sit in a que, wedged between some VERY big trucks, for about 30 minutes in the blazing sun - I can only hope the shortage is of a temporary and fleeting nature and that things will be back to normal before I need to fill up again - sigh!

On the plus side - no electricity and/or water cuts so far this week! See, there IS a silver lining - lol

A Momentous Hour! :)

2007-10-02T01:23:00.000+02:00

2001 visitors to my humble blog!

Thank you each and every one for taking the time to be interested in what I have to say and for joining me for coffee and a chat.

Love you all :)

Beauty is in the mouth of the eater!

2007-10-01T21:56:00.000+02:00

In my 'surfing' today I found the most amazing 'watermelon art'! Seems some people have the interest and enthusiasm to spend hours carving the most amazing shapes and pictures into watermelons. They really were quite something to behold but I couldn't help feeling a certain sadness to think that this art would soon rot and decay or be eaten! Why not find a more permanent place to express such beauty and skill? A bit like ice sculpture - how sad to see someone's labours of love just melting away to nothingness.

Today was our 'ladies coffee morning'. I'm not terribly sure why we feel the need to give things titles? I mean all we do is meet every Monday morning, drink coffee and eat chocolate cake. We gossip and bemoan the state of the world, children and life in general and commiserate with one another. It does actually make us feel better to realise that we are not alone in our woes so I suppose it does serve its purpose - just not sure why we don't just meet for a chat? Today we got onto the subject of favourite TV chefs - interesting to discover how we all have different views on this nail biting subject! Voted the most popular? Definitely Nigela Lawson! Now THAT I find strange to say the least! :)

The saga of Eric and the biting dog continues! The neighbour did finally produce a rabies certificate for ONE of his five dogs - it lost validity at the end of August! So Eric has had the first two rabies shots (generously paid for by the dog owner) but no-one told him he still needed another three! So I will obviously have to continue to chase this up - sigh!

A dog's tale....

2007-09-27T20:09:00.000+02:00

This is something I just had to share - today my gardener came to me complaining that one of my neighbours dogs had bitten him on his way home last night! Now Eric (the gardener!) lives on my property and had been out at the local shabeen (illegal 'pub' round the corner!) so was quite possibly a little worse for wear but, never-the-less, he should be able to walk up a public road without being attacked by a dog that belongs to someone who makes no effort to keep them on his own property. In fact since the man has no front fence, these dogs have been a menace ever since I moved into this house. They chase cars up and down the road and I've often seen them chasing the local chooks in a sort of half hearted manner but I never thought they were biters! Apparently they have already bitten several people - none have gone to the police however because they don't want to be bad neighbours! The mind boggles!

Eric, however, is made of sterner stuff! He was very passionate this morning and had only come to tell me that he was off to the local police post to make a formal complaint. I was very encouraging - rabies is a very serious problem in Zambia and it was very important to find out if these dogs have at least been vaccinated. I felt the police were better equipped to deal with the matter than I. So off he went - only to return about half an hour later with a 'letter' from the police informing me that in order for Eric to make a report, he needed to pay K10,000 for the form!! This princely sum is only the equivalent of about $2.50 but I mean, really!

Despite my irritation and incredulity, I gave him the cash and sent him back. Half an hour later he was back - this time with a police report form and a letter to say that he now needed to go to the Clinic to get an official report on the wound - cost? K10,000! I shook my head in amazement, handed out another K10,000 and sent him on his way. Meanwhile time is passing - a possible rabid bite needs to be treated rather quickly by a series of injections, the first should be given within the first two days - and we still haven't even discovered whether the dog has been vaccinated yet!

About an hour later, my cell phone rings! Yes, it is Eric! The clinic have sent him to the General Hospital and he needs K30,000! (SCREAM!!!!!) I jump in the car and rush down there, pay the money and leave him in the LONG que to see a doctor.

He still isn't back. We still don't know whether the dog has been vaccinated or not. I am out of pocket now by K70,000 - a considerable sum of money for a simple gardener to have lying around on the off chance that a dog might bite him! No wonder no-one has reported these dogs to the police before!

Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous in your life?

Thunder & Lightening.........very, very frightening....

2007-09-24T16:54:00.000+02:00

Good Grief - it is RAINING!

Now you may think this a very ordinary thing to do but NOT in Zambia at this time of the year! The seriously hot season (October, fondly known as suicide month!) has not even started although it has been very hot and still the past two days. The sky is black, I can hear thunder rolling overhead and the wind is blowing the palm trees in the garden all over the place. The rain bucketed down quite briefly but it was hard, serious rain and, judging from the wind, is still out there somewhere!

This is a BAD thing for the country! I fear it heralds either a drought or far too much rain for the season ahead. It just isn't NORMAL for the time of year and I can see no good coming of it.

Who said global warming is a myth?

The peace that Sunday brings

2007-09-23T20:08:00.000+02:00

What a peaceful day it's been!

No builders banging about next door, no TV blaring and no girl child's rocky music playing loudly from the bedroom. Time for a pleasant lie in followed by a leisurely shower and a full on breakfast with all the trimmings. Even the furballs refrained from yapping at every little noise today and that damn cat from next door stayed at home and left my poor little kitties alone.

Yes - all was peace and goodwill today :)

(I believe the cricket semi-finals are only on tomorrow!)

Did you sign my Guest Book before?

2007-09-20T20:00:00.000+02:00

Remember all those problems I was having with my Guest Book? Well I finally gave in and started a new one - it's down there at the bottom of the page. I would be so very, very grateful if you would take the time to sign the new one :)

Thank you so much!

The Road Ahead....

2007-09-18T17:18:00.000+02:00

As she stood by the open door she could hear the hammering of the workmen next door. Somewhere down the road a dog was barking and she heard a child crying in the distance. She walked through the door and down the path, dishcloth in hand and sniffed the brisk air. When she came to the bus stop, she climbed on board and sat by the window gazing mindlessly out as the bus drove past the corner shop and carried on out of the village.

She didn't remember how long she sat on that bus. Eventually it came to a final stop and she climbed off. She looked around and saw a strange place, unfamiliar and different. Across the street she saw a small boarding house and, feeling in her pocket for her purse, she slowly walked across the road.

That night as she lay in the small hard bed, the realisation of what she had done came over her. Here she was, a stranger in a strange place with no money, no clothes and no family nagging and demanding her time. A smile slowly spread over her face - free at last! Free to choose her own path and to follow her own dreams. In the morning, she quietly thought, I must look for a job and buy some new clothes!

One more river..............

2007-09-18T16:34:00.000+02:00

Just a little bit down, a little depressed,

Feeling blue and a little bit stressed.

The weekend came, the weekend went,

It was, on the whole, another non-event.

Mondy morning, not much to report,

No better today, not even a thought.

Smile bravely on, put feelings aside,

Fight that urge to just run and hide.

Pick up the clothes, cook one more meal,

Wash all those dishes, no time to feel.

Ain't life a bitch when you're feeling so blue,

And inside you're screaming but no-one hears you?

It just aint cricket chaps!

2007-09-18T14:19:00.002+02:00

Would someone please tell me who the moron was that invented cricket? I'd really like to know so that I can at least aim my invectives in the right direction!

Tis the cricket season again and, to add insult to injury, it appears the rugby season is in full swing too! My normally pleasant and quiet life has been shattered by the intrusion of all day cricket commentaries (seriously guys the MOST boring of ALL commentaries!) and the cheerful (supposedly?) sound of screaming rugby fans!

One has to ask.....do I care a continental which team is playing, winning, loosing or simply falling asleep mid match? Do I give a damn what the weather is doing, how beautiful/dark the clouds are, how good/bad/wet/dry the pitch is or how many 'overs' are done/left or existed in the first place?

The only 'over' I'm interested in is...........

WHEN IT'S 'OVER'! :(

Virtual African Safari = THE BIG FIVE

2007-09-11T21:47:00.000+02:00

ELEPHANT

LION

CHEETAH

LEOPARD

BUFFALO

WELCOME TO MY BACK YARD!

These beautiful pictures brought to you courtesy of: http://www.wildlife-pictures-online.com

Don't stop me now, I'm having such a good time....

2007-09-06T17:38:00.000+02:00

Mistress Purdee Tat -mountain lion - on the front verandah

This past two weeks have been an interesting time in my house. It would seem that the old adage of 'if it can go wrong, it will do' has been following me round with a determination wonderful to be seen!

It all started when the long overdue painters finally arrived to paint the interior of the house. Since I have been waiting for close on a YEAR for this event to happen I was thrilled to finally see them and welcomed them with open arms. The very next day the kitchen geyser blew its top (literally) spewing boiling water over anyone stupid enough to try getting in or out of the back door! The end result? Painters lugging stepladders, paint, dust and dirt through the front door and all down my white tiled hall floor!

As one week dragged into two and we all tried to keep holding our breath to survive the paint fumes, the aircon unit decided to blow it's connection to the main board - possibly due to the new and improved geyser of higher voltage and the fact that the electrician had linked to two to the SAME circuit breaker in the main distribution board! A few days later the new geyser stopped providing hot water and was replaced - again!

Then came week three and the painters started on the kitchen. Lots of shiny white enamel paint and my kitchen turned up-side-down. No problem they said, it'll only be two days - hah! Five days later and I still have wet paint - Mistress Purdee Tat decided to help last night and jumped on the newly painted wet edging (a lovely mossy green!) and then tiptoed green paint all over the kitchen and down the passage with me in hot pursuit - turps and cloth in hand!

This morning the council promised water cut offs to do some maintenance work on the main pipes. But I was organised this time after TWO unexpected days without water last week and sent husband out to make SURE that the tap to the water tank was turned off so that the water didn't ooze back into the main supply like last time. He shut the tap, turned on the pump and was rewarded by a gusher! Good grief - ANOTHER leak from the very same pipe the plumber fixed last month - and in the very same place too! Result? Wet angry husband at 6am and no water into the house (because he'd had to switch the pump off) to have a hot shower. Hey ho!

But it's all part of the fun of living in Zambia. I couldn't imagine life any other way!

Am I a SAD person or what??

(Oh and the painters PROMISE to start work in the lounge next week - again!)

Dem bones, dem bones got ta move about....

2007-09-05T22:07:00.000+02:00

MEDtropolis - Virtual Body

Click on this link and have some fun :)

Milton Keynes' Mysteriously Moving Concrete Cows!

2007-09-05T20:17:00.000+02:00

In all my many visits to Milton Keynes I had yet to see those famous concrete cows that are the town's trademark so to speak. This year I was determined to rectify that and so the search for the mysterious Milton Keynes concrete cows commenced!

Apparently, due to the activities of vandals, the cows are moved from one secret location to another on a regular basis and it was pure luck that the First Born had recalled seeing them grazing quietly in an open field on his way home from work earlier in the week. So off we headed, peering expectantly out of the car window in anticipation. I'm not sure what I expected to see but, to be perfectly honest, it wasn't this!

So here you are......... I present to you those most famous of Concrete Cows! They are not very big, they are decidedly un-cow like and they have red spray paint all over them. I believe they were designed and made by a REAL artist! Hard to believe - but true!

I'll be interested to hear your comments? :)

All painted out !

2007-09-02T20:49:00.000+02:00

The new blog is looking fantastic - do hope you've managed to find the time to admire the decor :)

Surely a coincidence that I've also been painting the house at the same time? We're into week two and I am getting pretty fed up with tripping over tins of paint, ladders and painters every day. They are doing a sterling job but I really am tired of camping in my own home and choking on paint fumes! Some dang fool decided to do a rough plaster finish throughout the house so painting each room has turned into a marathon task and we have used nearly three times the normal amount of paint! Might have been faster to just re-plaster :(

I have a sick husband! I thought this was worthy of mention as I'm sure all you ladies out there have 'experience' of coping with a sick husband in the house? Poor man has caught the most nasty bout of flu and is incapable of walking from the chair in front of the TV to the kitchen and back. He can't manage to eat the beef stew cooked but has a yen for chicken soup and endless cups of tea - served, of course, by an adoring wife at regular intervals! Wouldn't mind quite so much running back and forth if I could be sure that I will get the same treatment when I go down with said bout of flu - however, I am nothing if not a realist!!!

Hey ho - Tuesday sees the return of the girl child to school to continue her education! I am devastated! I had fondly thought I might get a break from early morning nagging and pleading, afternoon fetching and carrying and all those general school time blues! She has decided that she is NOT ready to step out into the big world and go to college in the UK so she has decided to carry on a further year at this dread institution and do her 'A' level Art. I'm sure she's right in her decision but it is still a blow I'm afraid. Her school career so far has not been a particularly happy one for either of us :)

So - watch this space for my nervous breakdown! - LOL

Popping in for a moment :)

2007-08-29T13:31:00.000+02:00

Just popping in to tell you about my latest obsession! I am part of a new venture - a new Blog called the Roaring Forties. Tis a colaboration between a few of us 'over 40's' and we've all been hard at work setting it up and getting started.

So please come on over and check it out - we are rather proud of it :) There is a link down below - we are just a click away!

Not to worry - I will not be neglecting the Coffee Shop! I shall be right back once we've finished painting the new place.

See you there!

The Roaring Forties

Woe is me......

2007-08-25T14:39:00.000+02:00

I am undone!

Seems that when I found this wonderful little visitors book site - I neglected to read the directions properly? After filling in all the bits and bobs and cheerfully pushing the 'DONE' button, I discovered that it had posted in the main blog area of my Blog!

What to do? I don't want to delete it and start again and loose the valued visitors that have already signed it. Besides it looks quite nice tucked in there - very comfy and easy to access! Any one got an idea or two to make it permanent without loosing its developing character?

HELP!

NEW Guestbook at the bottom of the front page - I got it right this time! Please sign that one :)

2007-08-23T23:21:00.001+02:00

And just one more ponder before bed :)

2007-08-23T00:53:00.000+02:00

I was just looking at my little site map on the right - amazing to see all those little red dots all over the world and to think that people from all sorts of strange and exotic places are reading MY blog!

What can I say but THANK YOU? :)

Hope you all enjoy my slightly off centre views of life in Zambia - I have great fun bringing them to you and promise to really get back on track now that my holiday malaise is over.

More coffee anyone?

Oh and I forgot to mention......

2007-08-22T23:09:00.000+02:00

With all these ponderings on the weather and the winds of change - I decided it was time for my blog to get a 'face lift'!

Hope you like it - I'm still pondering it! Let you know when I've decided :)

The Winds of Change....

2007-08-22T22:39:00.000+02:00

As I drove down the road today battling my way through the gusts of wind that flung leaves and dust at my car, it made me think of the changing seasons and the fact that we are coming into the 'oh god, is it EVER going to rain?' phase of the year again already! It hardly seems any time ago that I was waiting and gasping for a good down pour and asking everyone to do a rain dance for me! Then came the rains, the mud and a desperate longing for it all to stop and for the sun to come out again.

I have to wonder if we are ever happy with the weather? It's either too hot or too cold. It's raining too much or not enough... sun in or sun out? And I began to wonder - is there a perfect place on the earth where the weather is always just right? And if this magical place existed - would we still find SOMETHING to complain about?

Just thinking! :)

What makes Zambian drivers so BAD!

2007-08-18T14:06:00.000+02:00

Today I had a serious sense of humour failure - you could even refer to it as a dose of road rage I suppose!

Now I am a reasonable person and a considerate road user. I value my car, my life and the life of other road users so it makes me so MAD when I have to deal with road hogs and idiots every time I leave my driveway and venture forth into the madness that is called 'Driving in Zambia'! Today was a classic example of the selfish, thoughtless and inconsiderate behaviour of Mr Johnny Average on the Zambian roads that sent my blood pressure through the roof with my anger reaching about 8 on the Richter scale.

Coming back into Ndola (on the main through road) after a pleasant morning spent at the stables, the girl child and I were brought to a sudden and grinding halt at the small intersection entering the main road by the service station by a mini bus taxi pulling halfway across the road with a squealing of tyres and a smoking of brakes to stop and block the traffic to allow a procession of vehicles proceeding to the cemetery access. Although extremely annoying this is fairly normal practise in Zambia and while letting forth a few expletives, I came to a resigned halt to wait for the road to clear. A long que soon built up behind us and as the last car turned into the road and I began to move forward slowly, low and behold - another car pulled around on my left (we drive on the LEFT in Zambia!) and started to overtake by pushing past me and trying to force me to stop and let him through! Unfortunately the mini bus was still blocking half the road and I really had nowhere to go but straight or hit either the car illegally on my left or the min bus illegally stopped in the middle of the road!

I'm afraid I lost it completely. I swore like a trouper, I put my hand on the hooter and I continued to drive straight ahead forcing the car off the road and giving the mini bus driver more to think about than he had bargained for! For a moment I imagined I was driving a bulldozer and visions of pushing them all out of my way floated across my mind as the girl child shouted 'Mum!' in surprise and horror and the mini bus driver revved and wheelied forward. I have no idea what the car driver did as I watched him swerve to the side and almost fall into the ditch - a feeling of pure hatred raging through me!

What a wonderful feeling of triumph surged through me! Hah - take that you bastards! Don't MESS with ME you swine! The feeling lasted but a few moments before I came to my senses and thought about the possible outcome of my loss of control could have been. Road rage is a terrible thing to experience and, no matter what the provocation, is NEVER the answer.

So I am sorry I lost it but.... why can't drivers on the road just take a little time to think about other road users? Why do they assume that their needs on the road are greater than everyone elses? And why, oh why, does the licencing department give these morons licences without even the pretence of undertaking a driving test?

Our Scottish Adventure!

2007-08-03T19:33:00.000+02:00

A rather tame crossing over the border - this is the only
sign that you are leaving England to start on
your adventure into the unknown!
Be there Dragons?

Real Scottish heather!

Perth

Leaving Perth - next stop Edinburgh

HELP!

Edinburgh Castle - in passing!

Part of our Quest for Edinburgh Castle

Edinburgh Castle - in passing again!

Beautiful building seen during
our Quest - no idea!

The cable car at Ben Nevis - from the top!

Going UP!

One of many fantastic views from
the train window

and another!

Mallaig harbour

Harry Potters Bridge!

First station stop on the line

View along the crest of the mountain ridge
south bank Lock Ness

A Scottish Kirk!

Just one of the many beautiful gardens
overflowing with flowers that we saw

One of the many delightful little villages
encountered along the way

Our Hotel - The Old Pines

View from the Dining Room

A view from the top of a mountain road

Lord of the Isles - The Jacobite Steam Engine

The main tearoom in Mallaig

Just one view in Inverness

Canal boat on the Loch Ness

Another view of part of Loch Ness

Once a year, come rain or shine, the great pilgrimage to the land of our forefathers takes place. It is a time of great planning with many decisions to be made as to which new part of the United Kingdom we will visit each year. The main purpose of this annual pilgrimage is to see the first born and middle sons - the first couple of weeks always being spent, therefore, in the surprisingly comfortable if rather modern town of Milton Keynes.

This year it was decided to visit Scotland. Not just 'tame' Scotland but the wild and untamed (sort of!) Scottish Highlands of Robert the Bruce and Bonnie Prince Charlie fame. A trip which was also to fulfill a long held dream of mine to go Nessie hunting along the banks of that most famous of all Scotland's lochs - Loch Ness! So having packed the girl child off to Rome with her brother and a few friends, the husband and I hired a car and set off to drive the 350 odd miles to a delightful little town called Spean Bridge - right in the heart of the Highlands and overlooked by the UK's highest mountain, Ben Nevis.

Leaving Milton Keynes at the crack of dawn, we took the M6 North as far as Glasgow before heading off along the 'scenic' route to Fort William and thence to Spean Bridge. Glasgow caused a bit of a problem as the navsat my oldest and most diligent son had set up for us decided that Glasgow was even more than it could handle and went into a major sulk just when we needed it most! After being told to 'cross the (non-existent) roundabout and take the third exit' one too many times, the husband had a complete sense of humour failure and ripped it from its moorings, to be stuffed in the glove box and not to see the light of day again until returned to its rightful owner!

I was handed a map (the BIGGEST I have ever seen!) and told to take over navigation - a very dangerous thing to do as I have absolutely no sense of direction whatsoever which was well proved when I managed, in some way I still do not understand, to send us backwards over a very large bridge and off to the airport! A simple 'You'll have to turn around dear and go back the other way' was met with a few very choice words as the simplicity of my suggestion turned into the reality of actually trying to turn around on a four lane highway and to find the right exit to the bridge to be under repair and closed with a diversion which seemed to take us all around Glasgow! Thankfully good relations were quickly restored as the beauty of the route took over and the road became less well traveled.

As you slowly climb further and further up into the mountains and the air gets fresher and sharper, a sense of the vast isolation of the place begins to creep over you. The mountains are enormous with only a few little cottages standing in the big open valleys below. Each bend in the road brings yet another amazing vista that just has to be photographed! Progress, while steady, was slow! Finally, you come down into a valley and drive along the very edge of an enormous stretch of water, the steep sides of the mountains falling into the deep water. As you wind your way along the edge of a loch, the sudden appearance of the brightly flowered garden of a little stone cottage nestling amongst some trees comes as a bit of a surprise before being lost again as you travel around another bend. Finally you drive into the coastal port of Fort William, a strange mixture of old and new - one of the first things to strike my eye being a large and ugly Macdonalds! Although still bearing the name 'Fort William', the fort itself no longer exists having been bulldozed just after the 2nd World War to make place for expansion and housing. A silly thing to have done and much resented by most of the Scotsmen that I chatted with!

Spean Bridge is only 7 miles further up the road. We stayed in a delightful little hotel called The Old Pines - it gave the impression of a rather sophisticated log cabin! Our room was spotlessly clean and beautifully decorated with a superb little bathroom and with a wonderful shower pressure of steaming hot water. A delight in every way! We were welcomed with offers of tea or coffee and freshly baked scones with homemade raspberry jam and clotted cream - absolutely delicious. Although being small, it was extremely comfortable in every way - the owner making every effort to make you feel very welcome.

Our first outing of the trip was a day's excursion on the Jacobite Steam Railway which runs from Fort William to Mallaig and back every day, a trip of some 80 miles of the most amazing vistas I've ever seen. One of its major advertising blurbs informs you that the tracks run over the bridge used in the Harry Potter movies - a rather disappointing concrete edifice that must have been well air-brushed for the movies we decided! Otherwise a charming experience as our 'little engine' puffed its way up and down the hills with a merry toot at the road crossings to finally draw into Mallaig Station - gateway to the Isle of Skye amongst others. From this small fishing village you can catch the Caledonian Ferry to the Isle which, I believe, is well worth a visit. Mallaig itself mainly consists of little tourist traps in the form of curio shops and cafe's - our excursion only allowed time for a bite of lunch and a little shopping before hopping back onto the train for the return trip. The railway itself is run by a few steam enthusiasts who sell maps and other mementos and raffle off a couple of bottles of good Scotch whisky on the train - all proceeds going towards running expenses. It was a pleasant and fun way to see the countryside - I've always had a soft spot for the old 'puffing billy'!

With a couple of hours to spare between dinner and our train trip, my hubby persuaded me to venture forth up the mountains on the Ben Nevis cable car. Being rather fearful of high places I had my doubts about the wisdom of this but it was well worth it. The cable car doesn't actually run up Ben Nevis itself but goes about two thirds of the way up the neighbouring mountain from where you can get some pretty stunning views below and look at the patches of snow still on Ben Nevis' peaks. I was astonished to see mountain bikes for hire - apparently some people actually take their bikes up in the cable car and RIDE them down! The rough path down is very steep and winding and full of rocks - I just can't imagine anyone being that daft! Sadly there was no-one on the way down whilst we were there but the lady in the curio shop (yes, even at the top of a mountain) assured me that people do this all the time. Bizarre!

The following day was put aside for a session of 'Nessie Spotting' as we planned a day trip along the south bank to Inverness, returning along the much more popular north bank and stopping in to see Urquart Castle (or its remains at least!). The drive along the south bank took us high into the mountains to start with - absolutely amazing views and not even a sheep in sight - then down to the loch's edge to drive along a tunnel of trees with views across the loch suddenly appearing between the trees when least expected. There was definitely an eerie feeling as we drove along a nearly deserted road under a canopy of green - if Nessie was anywhere about, I'm sure this was the place! Maybe looking back at me as I peered through the trees looking for her? All too soon we reached Inverness and, regrettably, the hoards of tourists that flock to Loch Ness every year. I was glad that we had followed our booking agents advice to go along the south bank which seems to be far less appealing to your average tourist than the much more developed north bank.

Inverness is a pretty little town with beautiful old buildings and and well kept flower gardens and was a pleasure to drive through. We decided to stop for lunch at a largish hotel overlooking the loch just outside the town. After lunch and a spot of souvenir shopping at the rather expensive shop in the lobby, we moved on to Urquart Castle - a fascinating look into the past and another chance to spend money! A bit further up the road we came across a 'Nessie Information Centre' and couldn't resist checking it out. It was great fun - it had been set up as a sort of 'interactive' walk through which we thought was rather clever and would be very appealing to children in particular. They showed videos and explained in fair detail the past sightings and hunts for the 'Monster' and gave various facts and figures - all very interesting stuff.

After a leisurely breakfast the following day, it was time to head back to Milton Keynes. We decided to take a different route via Edinburgh to catch up with the M1 South - in theory giving us a clear run all the way back. It was a lovely scenic drive down through the mountains into the lower, more gentle 'hills' below. Our route took us through Perth (the original!), very pretty and easy to negotiate, and then on to Edinburgh.

Edinburgh - amazing place and much bigger than I expected! It was here that even the hubby's directional skills (normally considerable I might add!) came completely unstuck! The place was hopping with humanity, cars and buses and we drove round and round in square circles trying to find access to the mighty Edinburgh Castle. As you can see from my pictures, we were only mildly successful - those were taken as we kept trundling down wrong turns and one way streets in a desperate attempt as tempers rose with the temperature in the car! After wasting a considerable amount of time we decided to get the hell out of the place and then spent even more time trying to do that too! I'm afraid my impressions of what is in reality a very beautiful city were rather marred by this frustrating experience.

Then it was back on the road, time now pressing after all the craziness in Edinburgh, for a pleasant but rushed drive down the coastline and back, eventually, across the border into England and a long, weary trip on an overcrowded motorway to Milton Keynes.

I loved the wildness and vastness of the Scottish Highlands. I loved the fresh air and the cleanliness of the country and I hope one day to return to do some more exploring!

Just a small taste of the Splendour that is Scotland!

2007-08-01T15:47:00.000+02:00

I just wanted to show you a little of the grandiosity that is the Scottish Highlands to wet your appetites! I'm afraid I have so much 'catch up' work to do before I can spare the time to fully show you this amazing and glorious place - and I really do want to do our Scottish holiday full justice - so I will be back with more, I promise!

Until then - enjoy the beauty in this wild and untamed place.

See what happens when you go away - I've been tagged!

2007-07-16T18:15:00.000+02:00

Not once, but twice!
So here goes :)

1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.

2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.

4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

**********************************************************

1. I am a woman of all trades yet master of none.

2. I have a bizarre sense of humour.

3. I love all critters, including teenagers!

4. I'm not so fond of humanity however.

5. I love my pick-up truck.

6. I hate bigotry, double standards and loud drunks.

7. I love my BLOG :)

8. I am the coolest Mum in Ndola - hah!

And I am now TAGGING another eight people - will be back in a moment when I've found some that haven't been tagged already!

BRB :)

OK - I have returned! Tagging Alan, Deirdre, Jadey, Keith H, CD, Stephen, Kizzy and Erik

And here we are in sunny ole England.....

2007-07-14T16:42:00.000+02:00

At last - a spare moment to pop in and enjoy a quick cuppa with you all :)

Well we made it! The sun is shining, the airport was no more traumatic than usual, they didn't loose my suitcase and........ the shopping has commenced! So far the girl child and I have been fairly conservative in our shopping - only one trip to the enormous tack shop nearby so far! Today I did my stagger around the City Centre and Market pre-shop. I shall return on Monday for a PROPER shopping spree now that I have an idea of what I am looking for and what is available!

So stayed tuned in - I hope to get out there with the camera and try and get some 'snaps' and there is still my Scottish trip to come. I am really looking forward to that having never travelled that far North before.

Anyone out there for a coffee?

And we are back!

2007-07-03T22:14:00.000+02:00

The girl child and Elvis doing their last training session
before we set off for the Lusaka Derby.

Well, despite all the drama, we made it to the show and back! The horses were loaded and on the road by 7am and they arrived in fit and healthy state some six hours later. It was a LONG and tedious trip but fairly uneventful, with only a short hold up at one road block where a rather officious police officer insisted on making us pay a 'live animal levy' - apparently something to do with taking livestock to the slaughter house! Despite our protestations that we had no intention of slaughtering our horses (at least not until AFTER the show, depending on their performance! lol) we still ended up paying so that we could get moving again. Sometimes here in Zambia it is just easier to comply!

Although not a particularly good show for the girl child, we still had fun. Unfortunately not riding your horse for six months tends to reflect on your performance in the ring, Elvis was rather piggy and took full advantage of the girl child's unfit state to mess around, getting the pair of them eliminated several times! All good experience never-the-less, and they did manage one clear round on the last day. Hopefully the next show will be better!

The car made it all the way there and back and can now go back to the garage to see if they can figure out how to get the central locking working again - it was a pain having to remember to check each door every time I locked it! Hopefully they won't break anything else in the process but that remains to be seen!

So now I have just one day left to sort out my packing for our holiday to the UK - just in time for a security lock down on all UK airports after the shocking car bomb incident at the Glasgow airport. No doubt this will cause endless delays at the other end but I'm beyond worrying. Just hope they don't loose my suitcase again!

So my next update will after I arrive in England - hello shopping spree! What better way to spend your time in a country that seems to be having the worst bout of rains and floods in years? We were planning to hire a car, maybe a boat would be a better investment?

And it didn't get any better today!

2007-06-27T19:21:00.000+02:00

OK, so I figured things had to get better today - hah!

To be honest the day did start with promise, the girl child got out of bed on only the 2nd banging on the door and we did manage to get on the road to the stables before 8:30. The jumping lesson went well with Elvis making a supreme effort to concentrate and behave. The hubby phoned to say my car was repaired and ready to run and it was smiles all round.

Then I collected my car and discovered that now the central locking wasn't working - no problem, I can live without it for a few days! By the time I got the car home there was a mighty rattling and clunking coming from 'somewhere'! So it was back to the workshop, where they tightened everything they should have tightened the first time!

Then I got the phone call to say that the horse truck we are HIRING to move our horses had been double booked and so now would we mind loading our horses at 3am, in the dark and travel them 400kms on some of the most dangerous roads so that the other party wouldn't be inconvenienced! I shall not print my reply - it really is just too rude! I mean, really, do I CARE about the sensitivities of the 'other party'? I don't think so! So we have compromised on a 5:30am start, which means I shall have to be up and on the road to the stables at 4:30am!

And now I am sitting here typing this when I should be packing and sorting but I am just so fed up I don't know where to start! I think I may just go and soak in the bath!

Just another day in the life.....

2007-06-26T00:47:00.000+02:00

Ever get that feeling that your life is just falling apart around you? This last week has been particularly challenging, what with the horse show coming up this weekend and our holiday starting the following week. So much to do and so much to go wrong!

It all started last November when I mistakenly left my horse trailer in the hubby's company workshop for 'repairs and maintenance' - to be ready in time for the start of the show season. Now in fact! It didn't need a lot doing to it - new tyres, the rims and hubs cleaning up and a few new studs fitting, a new piece of glass for the front window and a chain welded across the one back stall due to theft of the original! And here I am, the show is upon me and my trailer is still not ready. To top that off my car, which went in for a service, has developed several other interesting defects whilst in their care. It is now suffering from a burnt out alternator which is going to either cost US$2000 (YES, I did type that right!) from the dealer or $350 from the 'copy cat' little shop but will not be available until the day after I am supposed to be at the show, some 400km away!

Meanwhile the girl child has contracted an extremely painful ear infection and there is a desperate shortage of diesel in the country.

In the midst of all this chaos I am also trying to get organised for our annual trip to the UK, flying out the day after we get back from the show! There are re-entry visas to organise and travel insurance as well as packing, dog and cat food sufficient for a month and a multitude of small but irritating details to deal with.

I really must be mad and if I'm not now, I certainly will be by the end of next week!

The World's Biggest Dog!

2007-06-21T21:46:00.000+02:00

This is Hercules, officially the biggest dog in the world, the Guinness Book of Records has him down as weighing a massive 282 pounds with a 38 inch collar size! Believe it or not, he is a standard bred English Mastiff and his owner claims that he was never fed any special food, just normal doggy chow. Imagine meeting that when you knock at someone's door? All I can say is............... WOW!

School's Out - just fooling around after Graduation!

2007-06-20T20:48:00.000+02:00

The Prom Part 2 - the big night!

2007-06-19T23:00:00.000+02:00

As promised....The Prom Pictures - Part 1 - the preparation!

2007-06-19T22:13:00.001+02:00

Preparing for the big night

<-------Before!

After------>

Sins of the Mother.....

2007-06-17T14:37:00.000+02:00

Do we girls get more like our mothers as we get older? Not that I mind very much, my mum was a fabulous lady and I would be proud to be anything like her - really! But I often wonder how many of our mother's 'not-so-nice' traits we take on board without even realising it? How many times do we hear our mother's voice as the very same words she used to us as children come tripping out? And what about those of us who didn't have a very good relationship with our mothers and vowed to NEVER be like them? Do those traits come out anyway and do we treat our children in the same way that we found horrible when we were growing up, without realising it?

Now my mum and I had a wonderful relationship which persisted into my adult life unchanged. I like to THINK my daughter and I have the same bond. She was a wonderful woman who protected her offspring with a fierceness that daunted even the most determined teacher at school. She could always be relied upon to rush to my rescue, leaving all in her path vanquished! I thought she was amazing. As my children have grown I have found myself doing exactly the same thing with the same results.

On the other hand I have a friend who never got on with her mother. They fought all the time, often resulting in her running away from home and arriving on our doorstep, a trait that persists to this day even though she has been married for 21 years and has four children of her own. Her mother used to do the same thing to them when conflict in the home became overwhelming. She was a very controlling woman with her children, so is my friend. Often she was extremely irrational, she had a phenomenal memory for 'slights' and never forgave the perpetrator! I see the same trait in my friend which is very sad as she fights hard to NOT be the same as her own mother! I see her husband and children pulling away from her in the same way that she pulled away from her mother.

My question - can you tell someone that you can see them walking the same unhappy path that their mother walked before them? Can you tell them to pull themselves together and to see the damage they are doing to themselves and their family? How do you say these things when they don't want to believe it and they will most likely never speak to you again? I care deeply about my friend, I don't want to hurt her feelings but I can't bear to watch her rip her family apart in the same way her mother did to her.

How brave should I be?

Downtown Kitwe

2007-06-16T23:11:00.000+02:00

Life is slow in the city! This is Kitwe city centre on a lazy Monday afternoon. Kitwe, although not the Regional Capital, is the biggest city in the Copperbelt region of Zambia. Originally built in the bad old colonial days with the money from the rich copper mining industry, very little has changed except for the slow deterioration of the streets and buildings over the years. A can of paint and a paintbrush seem as much a foreign concept to the city fathers as does the cleaning out of the storm water drains before the rainy season starts! The roads are a minefield of potholes and badly done patches and the shops are, for the most, a messy mixture of security bars and unwashed windows. So sad really, it must have been a pretty little city in its heyday!

Just a heartfelt Thank You to Blogger Admin!

2007-06-16T12:44:00.000+02:00

If you have been wondering why I haven't updated my blog this past week - it's been down to a very annoying technical problem that I have been so distracted by that I eventually threw my hands up in despair and sent a report to Blogger Help. For some reason my 'Add a Page Element' facility just disappeared off my layout page, leaving me bereft and depressed!

So, THANK YOU, Blogger for so promptly taking pity on me and sorting it out within 24 hours! I am impressed! After all there must be thousands of little people like me using this site. It is so nice to know that there IS someone out there who reads all the reports and jumps into action to aid a damsel in distress!

Blogger ROCKS! :)

Shall I let this picture speak for itself? LOL

2007-06-11T12:17:00.000+02:00

A day to remember

2007-06-08T21:57:00.000+02:00

Today was Graduation Day for the girl child. The culmination of years of early mornings, alarm clocks, hard slog and endless nagging from the girl child's mother to get her off to school on time. It hasn't been easy and it often hasn't been pleasant and NO-ONE is more relieved than I to finally shake off the dust of school days! If I look back to her earliest days of school, starting with nursery school, I can never remember a day when she leapt out of bed with enthusiasm and went willingly off to school. She, like her mother, is just simply NOT a morning person! It used to drive her two big brothers wild, they would be up and dressed and ready to rock and roll and I would still be trying to persuade her to get dressed, put her shoes on and MOVE.

Over the years I tried many different techniques from threats to bribery - mostly to little avail. I remember throwing her and her clothes in the car and threatening to drop her off at school in her pajamas if she wasn't dressed by the time we got there. As she got older I tried waking her up earlier, I tried setting all the clocks in the house ahead 15 minutes, I tried buying loud and obnoxious alarm clocks (we had a particularly good one that used to shout in Korean and get louder and louder until switched off!) and I tried promises of sweeties and fun outings after school. I have been doing this now for FOURTEEN long and weary years - you can see why I am jumping for joy and singing hallelujah! :)

So today as I sat and watched this lovely young person put one phase of her life behind her and take her first steps into a new and exciting future, I felt relieved but proud, very proud! Who knows what the future may hold - she is undecided on her next step in her further education so we are just taking some time out to enjoy lazy mother and daughter mornings as she curls up on my bed and discusses the options!

For the moment, we are content! :)

(photos to follow!)

A little bit of Zambia......

2007-06-07T13:30:00.000+02:00

The market place in Kitwe, a small town about 60kms away from Ndola and our nearest neighbour. A patient person can find just about ANYTHING in here if they have the time and the will to succeed! This is just a very small fraction of the open air market which stretches for about a kilometre along the road, around the corner and then goes back into infinity. It sort of reminds me of Harry Potter's description of Diagnon Alley - I wouldn't be too surprised to find something magical hiding in there, just not sure it would the kind of magical I'd want to find!

One of the things you will find in this market are bales of clothes kindly donated by the citizens of western countries to the poor and underprivileged of third world Africa. It is amazing what you can buy for the equivalent of a couple of dollars - silk shirts, designer dresses and, believe it or not, riding boots and jodphurs! Most of this stuff has NEVER been worn! Or if it has, it may have been only once or twice. I personally bought a silk blouse with it's shop label still attached! It cost me the equivalent of US$2.50 - a lot less than it's original owner paid I'm sure!

If you're brave enough you can try on your proposed purchase behind carefully held blankets while amused local ladies comment on your underwear and pale skin to each other and cackle with laughter. For this privilege you need a good sense of humour and the hide of a buffalo! Much easier to just take the stuff home untried and give away the stuff that didn't fit after all! Quite frankly, it needed a good wash before wearing anyway. :)

Other items you might find if you really do have a sharp eye and have had a house robbery recently, are your TV, DVD player and so on. It isn't worth making too much fuss in these cases - there are FAR more of them than you and by the time you might return with a policeman, it's most likely been sold to someone else anyway!

Always raining cats and dogs in my house!

2007-06-05T21:58:00.000+02:00

I just had to show a cute picture of dangerous Dexter to prove that he's really a gentle little soul who wouldn't hurt a fly - so here he is snuggled up on my arm - lol

And then I found this really, really cute baby picture of Mistress Purdee Tat taken just after she arrived and I couldn't resist - she has grown into her ears now! She's also bigger than Dexter now too but still treats him with the respect he demands :)

A final rabies update....... :(

2007-06-04T14:03:00.000+02:00

For those that expressed an interest in our rabies victim, she passed away early this morning without having come out of her coma.

A terrible tragedy that should never have happened - my heart goes out to her husband and children at this awful time.

Thanks to those of you who cared.

The Rose

2007-06-03T17:25:00.000+02:00

As the sun's first rays call in the dawn

Softly bringing in a summer's day

See the dew on a rose in the early morn

On velvet petals a random ray

Light fingers softly touching

A surprise visitor :)

2007-06-02T22:13:00.000+02:00

FROSTY THE SNOWMAN?

No it hasn't been snowing in Zambia - just a photo of the snowman my oldest son and his mates made when it snowed all over the UK last year.

I just couldn't resist!

Ain't he cute!

A new place to natter in :)

2007-06-02T00:18:00.000+02:00

OK guys, it is done! I have started a new blog for all you horse lovers out there :)

You can find it at http://horseynewszambia.blogspot.com OR
just click on the link in my bloggit.

It is suitably called 'Over the Stable Door' - look forward to seeing you there :)

Zambian school follows the American dream

2007-06-01T08:20:00.000+02:00

It is the end of an era - the final exams are over and teenagers all over Ndola are gearing up for their Graduation and, more importantly, the 'After Grad Party' next weekend!

This year the powers that be at the school (i.e. our fearless Headmistress, the dreaded Mrs Gibbs!) have decided to follow the American teenage dream - THE PROM! Since we aren't 'American' in any thing else we do here in our school, this has come as a bit of a surprise to students and parents alike and has caused a veritable frenzy of dress buying/making, hair curling/straightening, beauty salon appointments and ANGST! Lots of ANGST!

Mother's are pulling their hair out trying to provide that 'perfect' dress that says all their teenage daughter wants to say about herself, stylishly and, most importantly, differently (but the same) from everyone else! It must fit perfectly, show NO bulges, be exactly the right length and they MUST be able to actually walk in it!

Father's are pulling out cheque books, asking stupid questions like "it costs HOW much?" and "are you sure you can't just wear that lovely new skirt you bought at Christmas?" and hiding at work to avoid the inevitable fall-out such silly questions bring!

This is a whole new concept to us backward hicks! In the past, the kids just got together and had fun - usually in a favourite pair of jeans at a specially hired night club with bouncers on the door to keep the riff-raff out! As parents, our sole duty was merely to provide the funds, transport and a place for a dozen giggling girls to get 'ready' for the occasion - almost as important as the event itself!

So why has American culture invaded our school? I believe we are even to have a Prom Queen and King, just another way to tell some poor kid that they were right to believe they were un-popular despite all those confidence building 'pep talks' we gave them all through the years. One last slap down to add to the rest of their memories of their school years? I blame it on all those silly reality TV shows and teen movies that show all those silly, spoilt rich kids with their perfectly white teeth and perfectly super blonde tresses in their perfect world at their perfect prom being perfectly bitchy and nasty - something to aspire to?

BUT - I am happy to be able to say, we have found the dress! We have the perfect shoes to match and are on 'Prom count down' with enthusiasm and fingers crossed that no-one else finds a dress too similar to the girl child's, or the same ear rings perhaps, that will require another round of shopping and more teenage ANGST!

Anyone joining me for a coffee with my prozac?

Mighty meets Mouse!

2007-06-01T00:10:00.000+02:00

Dexter's impression of a Rottweiller! All mutter and no mangle LOL

Gemma just looks a bit puzzled!

Let's Rock & Roll!

2007-05-31T21:31:00.000+02:00

As promised - the king! Elvis (posh name Castle Rock) strutting his stuff in a training session. Still young and 'playful', we have high hopes for his future in show jumping.

Last but definitely not least!

2007-05-30T18:55:00.000+02:00

Named by the girl child for that famous Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris likes to take life in a relaxed and easy way.

A likeable young man, despite his propensity to kill pot plants and toilet rolls.

Like all teenagers, he NEEDS his sleep!

Another member of the family

2007-05-30T17:19:00.000+02:00

Gemma the rescue Great Dane - more brains in there than you might think :)

SPAM........arghhhhhhh!!

2007-05-30T13:35:00.000+02:00

OK so now I am really annoyed! I am fed up with this invasion of my privacy and this assumption that some ignorant pig person feels they have the right to send me this crap, UNASKED FOR, through my mail box! I am fed up with weird emails in Japanese (I think!), 'confirmations' of my orders of pills and potions, offers of fabulous 'special offers', notifications of mythical lottery winnings and, most of all, PORN!

This morning when I checked my email I had one asking me if I was happy in bed??? Of course I am you stupid, ignorant, twit! I have a fantastic kingsize bed with sealy posturpeadic mattress and all the trimmings that go with it, including a snoring husband/hot water bottle!

I also had one informing me that I had won an amazing prize in some lottery - a little odd considering I have never entered an on-line lottery in my life? Thank goodness I don't actually have a credit card number to give you, so I am not even tempted to be the complete moron you think I am! And, just out of curiosity, if my order for 'long life, wrinkle free, spot cream is ready, how exactly did I order it without said credit card?

Surely this rubbish is as much an invasion of privacy as any other and should be punishable under the law? Did I ask for this crap? NO - I DID NOT! Mostly it started after I did one of the stupidest things in my internet life - I joined a couple of survey companies! Do you think I can get them to un-subscribe me from all the lists they have given my email add to? Do you think I can stop them from harassing me day and night? Do you think I can sue them for giving my email add to some pervert who wants to know about my bedroom habits?

It seems not! It seems all I can do is delete them unread and stand here on my soapbox and RANT! And having ranted, move on - lol

Coffee anyone? Think I might just have a ham sandwich to go with that?

Nothing happened.......

2007-05-29T23:04:00.000+02:00

Nothing happened much today.

I planted some flowers,

and trimmed the hedge,

and thought of summer showers.

I chatted to my friends today.

I bathed the dog,

and brushed his coat,

and sat in the sun on the log.

I watched the birds fly high today.

I heard them sing,

and put out seeds,

and ignored my cell phone ring.

Another Autumn Zambian Day!

2007-05-28T22:54:00.000+02:00

Just because it's beautiful :)

2007-05-28T01:27:00.000+02:00