Here lies the body of...............??

They say a picture is worth a thousand words? Well this one is of the building site next door snapped from my balcony this morning! I say it is the jack hammer operator who has been mysteriously quiet since yesterday - and no, I didn't pay anyone!

In Praise of His Noodly Appendages!

A Prayer of Thanks!

Spaghetti! Spaghetti!
You’re wonderful stuff,
I love you spaghetti,
I can’t get enough,
You’re covered with sauce
And you’re sprinkled with cheese,
Spaghetti! Spaghetti!
Oh, give me some please.
Spaghetti! Spaghetti!
Piled high in a mound,
You wiggle, you wriggle,
You squiggle around.
There’s slurpy spaghetti
All over my plate.
Spaghetti! Spaghetti!
I think you are great.

(by Jack Prelutsky)

Attack of the vicious blind eating Vacuum Cleaner!

Today I woke up motivated! Time to clean, and I mean REALLY clean the apartment - especially the kitchen which has been a trifle neglected due to 'lack of interest and be damned' syndrome! In some weird masochistic way, it was actually quite satisfying to scrub the stove, clean out the fridge and generally wash and scrub every surface - seen and unseen!

One of the strange things I have discovered since being in the UK is "Grey Fluff". This annoying substance seems to get everywhere which is quite a mystery to me considering that the apartment is pretty much a sealed unit and I have yet to figure out where the damn stuff comes from! Don't wash the floor for a couple of days and it looks like a Yeti's been moulting in there! Today's cleaning attack included a thorough vacuum of the kitchen floor before a good old wash and scrub (I have a nifty little machine to do that too!) and so there I was, cheerfully zooming around the kitchen with the vacuum when......OH MY GOD............

Some silly fool had left the blind strings draped over the floor. I suspect this was due to a lazy disinclination to properly wind them around that handy dandy little hook thoughtfully provided for the purpose? I promise, I never saw them - the first I realised I had a problem of serious proportions was a CLUNK, followed by the vacuum cleaner leaping up the wall with a scream of protest and a wisp of smoke curling out! Now I just KNOW I can hear you all yelling "SWITCH IT OFF YOU IDIOT!" and to be honest that was also my very first thought too, quickly followed by a realisation that in order to do that I had to get to the FOOT operated switch which was hastily getting out of reach as the vacuum voraciously ate the string and headed for the ceiling.

I lunged, the vacuum screamed and the blind protested - for a split second the world stood still. With a resounding crash I reached the off button at about the same time as the blind gave way and we all tumbled to the ground in unison. This wouldn't be so bad if this wasn't a rented apartment, with rented vacuum cleaners and rented blinds!

But never fear - I HAVE TAMED THE BEAST AND RETURNED ALIVE!
(and when I find out which lazy swine was the original cause of this drama, they'll be lucky to return at all!)

And so the saga ends......

I just HAD to give you all the ending to the printer and postage stamp saga! After all that drama hubby left here, letter in hand, to find a postbox. Missing the one at the bottom of the road, he figured there were bound to be lots on route to his appointment with the Accountant - no worries!

He ended up at the main post office in town! Like I said, quicker to have just bought a stamp :)

And just to print a stamp?

OK - so we have lift off! The printer is printing yet still the muttering continues............

And to think that all this angst was to PRINT A STAMP on an envelope to pop in the post? I can't help thinking (but definitely NOT saying!) that if he'd just jumped into the car and gone to the post office, the letter would be well on its way by now?

Ah well, I'm sure it will be a very useful thing to know how to do for the next letter we have to post! :)

(assuming, of course, that there is a letter box close at hand and we don't need to use the post office?)

The Mystery of the Incompatible Printer!

As I sit here looking out the window at the beautiful day, there is a muttering (getting louder!) in the background! Yesterday we bought a NEW printer, a printer of fabulous proportions and snazzy new colours. It does everything from scanning to photo printing, in fact it is a wonder to behold, a joy of modern technology and ergonomic design! The only problem is it refuses to be installed on the hubby's rather fancy laptop which operates on Windows Vista!

Now since it seems that every new computer comes with Vista as the operating system these days, it does seem odd that any new printer would not be compatible? He has entered the dark and dangerous waters of the Epson web site, followed the freely given instructions and downloaded the THREE different programmes required to ensure compatibility but still it refuses to comply!

Oh woe - is that yet another wail of despair I hear in the ether? Is that another diabolical and interesting description of Epson and printers in general I hear?

Isn't it wonderful to be part of this new and exciting Technological Age?

Good Morning - Just have some fun :)

On the Balcony

Sitting on my balcony,
watching the slate gray sea.
I watch the seagulls flying high,
against the wind, above me.

Clouds race across the sky.
The mighty wind blows out of reach.
White horses in the breakers,
rearing and crashing on the beach

A sudden lull, a quiet moment.
Sunshine reflecting on water, broken.
Clouds ragged and breaking, racing
leaving only a small token
of the gray day behind.

A dozen interesting things about living in the UK.

It's been nearly a month since I arrived - here are a dozen things I have learned!

1. People crossing the road always wait until you're almost on the crossing before pressing the button.
2. Walking down the high street requires determination and courage if you want to walk in a straight line.
3. Dog owners only 'scoop the poop' if they think someone is watching!
4. It's impossible to tell whether an 'Emo' is male or female to a bemused observer.
5. Scarves always get caught in the car door when the wind slams it shut.
6. Seagulls always shit on our car.
7. Never go out without an extra woolly jumper - this moment's sunshine can be next minute's howling gale.
8. Smoking on a balcony can be hazardous to the people on the terrace below.
9. Don't assume that things or people work better because it's England - they cock it up here too!
10. Internet connections are frustrating no matter where you live.
11. Little old ladies in supermarkets should NOT be given trolleys!
12. Parking spaces are never wide enough to actually get out the car after you've parked.

Have a nice day! :)

Pastafarian and Proud!

It's official! I am now a practising Pastafarian of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

I found this wonderful new religion while browsing through the internet one bored and lonely day and spent a few giggle filled hours reading its history and its plans for a better and brighter future for the world. As a proclaimed Agnostic, I was hooked! I have yet to find a more sensible approach to the world's problems and so bow down to His Noodliness and offer my small and insignificant self in His service for the Greater Good and the Furtherment of Mankind.

Long live the FSM!

Psssst! If you want to know more about His Noodles, check out the link, top right on my tool bar :)