The Street that The Council Forgot!

I've never been a very political person. Generally I just 'go with the flow' and fit in. Moving to the UK has changed my somewhat passive approach to life as I begin to more fully understand (or in this case NOT understand!) the workings of British Bureaucracy. This particular incidence of British Bureaucracy has SO incensed me that I just have to MAKE A STATEMENT!

Some time back the East Sussex Council came up with a marvellous scheme to inflict a paid parking scheme on the sleepy little town of Eastbourne. Despite the protestations of both the Eastbourne City Council and the Residents, this scheme was pushed through to become a reality about a week ago. Now I could go on about all the inconveniences the scheme has brought to both the shop owners and workers in the town centre and the sudden drop in business that many small high street shops have been subject to since the scheme came into effect but I feel that as this matter has been sufficiently addressed over the past few months with no sensible result, I would rather stick to my own 'inconvenience'.

So . . . pass the soapbox please!

Several months ago the Jayne family moved into their own little bit of Heaven - a 1/9th share of a converted church to be exact. This church is in a RESIDENTIAL part of Eastbourne Town Centre - on the Street that The Council Forgot. When we moved in here about four months ago, we made a special trip to the local council to purchase a resident's parking permit that would allow us to park on the road outside our new home, only to be told that we didn't need to worry since the new parking scheme didn't affect our street. I suppose we should have been more suspicious at the time but, being a bit ignorant of local laws, we accepted what we were told and have been parking outside our new home in ignorant bliss ever since.

Hah! The very first day of the new rules and we got a parking ticket! As did EVERY single car in the street! Shock was soon followed by indignation. A quick check of the Council's web site showed an interesting state of affairs - our street is just outside their new parking area. It still carries a '2 hour, no return 2 hours' parking restriction and The Council refuses to sell us resident's parking permits because (wait for it) we don't fall into the new area. So far, despite several emails and even a direct visit to their offices, they seem unable to tell me where I can obtain such an item. In fact, they really don't care one iota for my troubles!

So I, and all the other street residents, are now left with one of two options. Either we park illegally and run the risk of £30 parking tickets or we rush out every two hours and move our cars to another street, only to return to our own one two hours later! Does no-one else see the ridiculousness of this situation? If we lived just one street over we'd be eligible for a permit!

Right now I feel very discriminated against! Is it yet another case of "all being equal, just some more so than others" or simple stupidity?

Bah Humbug!

The Mouse in my Garden - in technicolour!

Now I have found the photo the Girl Child took of our daily visitor, here he is, for your delight, in FULL TECHNICOLOUR! Enjoy :)

There's a mouse in my garden, a big one for sure!
I saw him tonight as I opened the door.
He looked right at me with eyes bright and bold,
As he nibbled on bread, thrown out of old.
We nodded politely and seemed to agree,
there was room in the garden for both him and me!

A cat jumped down off the garden fence,
It was large and white and on the offense.
I got quite a shock as it flew right by,
A blur of white that fell from the sky!
It really was the most dreadful sight,
And the mouse leapt up in a terrible fright,
Then the cat rushed forward and banged its head,
As the mouse scurried off and under the shed!

This morning, when I looked out the door,
first I saw one and then saw one more!
And then, as I reached for my tea,
I looked again and now there were three!
What seemed so appealing now seems so no more.
What if tomorrow I find there are FOUR?

This morning I woke with some trepidation,
stumbled downstairs in some hesitation.
As I switched on the kettle, I looked out to see,
only one, thank goodness, not four and not three!
And, if I am honest, I felt rather mean
as he looked right at me, "what, no bread to be seen?"

And then, peering over the roof of the shed,
was that a big, white, furry head?
Ears pricked with intent and whiskers aquiver?
I looked at the mouse and felt myself shiver!
I need not have worried, that's one clever mouse,
As he ran under the shed, I stepped back into the house!

No mouse this morning, I do feel bereft.
I imagine he's cross and so he has left.
He's packed up his bags and gathered his friends,
sadly it seems that here my tale ends!

Poor neglected blog.....

My poor neglected blog! I really do feel terribly guilty about it but somehow circumstances have dictated that I hardly ever get the chance to visit it, let alone write in it these days.

Take my efforts to get re-connected on my SKY Broadband since we moved into our new, now permanent home. Having given them official notice of intent to move home on the 1st August, I see we are now on the 6th September and STILL not connected! Technically, according to them, we were connected on the 21st August and I have been fighting with them ever since. I have NEVER known such a fiasco in my life, not even in my darkest internet days in Zambia, where they at least had a genuine reason for the poor connection - someone forgot to fill the generator up with diesel again! Here in this civilised part of the western world however, they seem incapable of finding the problem let alone fixing it. They also seem unable to answer a telephone, provide a service and use a phone to phone you back? I know there is quite a high rate of illiteracy in the UK but I would have expected Internet Technicians to be able to use a telephone at least?

As you can tell, my frustration levels are increasing daily with calls to Sky TV/Broadband being the most useless method of getting hold of someone who can actually fix a problem while costing a great deal of money in the process. Something that they really don't care about as they put you on hold, yet again, for hours on end. You think I am exaggerating? I timed my 'on hold' session yesterday morning - the phone line went dead after 58mins 12secs!

So far I have chatted with several friendly but hard to understand people in Mumbai. I have visited with many cheerful people in Northern Ireland and taken delight in talking to some very sympathetic people in Scotland BUT.....the bottom line is I STILL HAVE NO BROADBAND! I am in despair - I have no idea what to do next!

Any helpful (and legal!) suggestions would be welcomed!

Computers for the Confused!

My first brush with the 'personal computer' was an old 386 back in 1991. Being the part owner of a construction company (the part that did all the secretarial work!) that my husband had started a few years before, when it came time to retire my old electric typewriter he decided it really was time to get computerised. I fought long and hard - all I wanted was a fancy new electronic typewriter - but in the end, after being told that this new computer would DO everything, I capitulated and the 386 came to live in our office.

It was UGLY! It took up too much space and it just SAT there on my desk, staring blankly at me! I was told it 'did the books' and it 'typed letters'. It was supposed to be the beginning of the 'paperless office' and the ultimate time saver. I switched it on and little white letters and symbols floated about on a black screen - unintelligible gibberish and hard to read at that! I tried to type and it produced a string of gibberish and requests to 'press enter'?? After a week of this frustrating behaviour, I shoved it on the floor and retrieved my electric typewriter from the cupboard! And then, we employed a 'computer man' to tame the wild beast!

I did eventually come to understand the basics of MsDos and even managed to get to grips with letter typing but that really was about as far as it got. The First Born, on the other hand, had a strange affinity with this monstrous machine from the very beginning. He was only 10 or 11 when it arrived and it took him only a few short weeks to master it and there began his fascination and understanding of all things computer. He would spend hours after school programming it and changing settings and generally making sure his mother would have the hardest time getting into it the next morning when he was at school! We eventually came to an understanding - if he changed anything on it, he would have to put a 'post-it' on the screen with simple instructions on how to switch on and find my work. All was well until it blew itself up a couple of years later and into our lives came the mighty 486 Pentium.

Weren't we proud of our new baby? Along with this latest technology came Windows, WYSIWYG, mice and mousepads! It also came with a full colour monitor and lots of RAM, ROM, floppy drives, stiffy drives and (my personal favourite!) a place to plug a set of earphones in! I also remember having some fantastic programmes that I could print transfers for t/shirts with and a really great desktop publisher that could make columns and insert pictures. I felt technically rich beyond belief! I remember doing the in house magazine for our Arab Horse Society that year and what a pleasure it was compared to previous years. By then the First Born was a whizz with computers and had gone on to complete his City and Guilds certificates with flying colours to become a fully trained Computer Technician.

As I sit here typing this on my little laptop, it's hard to remember what a mission it was in the early days - how big the machines were and how little they were able to do! I suppose, if I were to think about, the speed with which new technology develops and grows is quite amazing and it is very hard to keep up sometimes. I like to think that I was a pioneer of earlier days!

And when it comes to understanding all this new technology, all I can say is - thank god for teenagers!

Ireverently Poetry!

Have you heard the world is flat?
So what do you think about that?
It could explain why no-one's here,
they fell off the edge, or so I fear!

And evolution never happened.
Darwin's theories? All flattened!
The dinosaurs, just one great joke,
Old bones buried to just confuse folk.

Our world created all new and sleek.
God must have been very bored that week!
Each perfect critter standing tall,
I'm amazed he had the time at all?

Each day when I crawl out of bed,
the sound of nature rings in my head.
Not so blind that I can not see,
Evolution working all around me!

The Mouse in My Garden

There's a mouse in my garden, a big one for sure!
I saw him tonight as I opened the door.
He looked right at me with eyes bright and bold,
As he nibbled on bread thrown out of old.
We nodded politely and seemed to agree,
there was room in the garden for both him and me!

A cat jumped down off the garden fence,
It was large and white and on the offense.
I got quite a shock as it flew right by,
A blurr of white that fell from the sky!
It really was the most dreadful sight,
And the mouse leapt up in a terrible fright,
Then the cat leapt forward and banged its head,
As the mouse scurried off and under the shed!

This morning, when I looked out the door,
first I saw one and then saw one more!
And then, as I reached for my tea,
I looked again and now there were three!
What seemed so appealing now seems no more.
What if tomorrow I find there are FOUR??

This morning I woke with some trepidation,
and stumbled downstairs in some hesitation.
As I switched on the kettle and looked out to see,
only one, thank goodness, not four and not three!
And if I am honest, I felt rather mean
as he looked right at me, "what, no bread to be seen?"

And then, peering over the roof of the shed,
was that a big, white, furry head?
Ears pricked with intent and whiskers aquiver?
I looked at the mouse and felt myself shiver!
I need not have worried, that's one clever mouse,
As he ran under the shed, I stepped back into the house!

No mouse this morning, I do feel bereft.
I imagine he's cross and so he has left.
He's packed up his bags and gathered his friends,
sadly it seems that here my tale ends!

At last - I am returned! :)

Sorry about that folks - yet another move and yet another wait to be connected, but at least we should be in this house for some months to come now! So here I sit (on a garden chair since my lounge suite has STILL not been delivered!) in my new little house, watching my fancy new flat screen TV and checking my email for the first time in two weeks - gosh, what a LOT of junk mail! I often wonder what would happen if we could all just push a button and magically send all that junk mail 'back to sender' - just imagine the chaos on their computer as MILLIONS of unwanted junk megabytes came flying back into their mailboxes, and imagine if it all happened AT THE SAME TIME? I would call it fair revenge!

Seems we are in for some really bad weather along the south coast of England from early tomorrow morning. Gale force winds and rain with possible flooding - it sounds pretty awful! It will be the first really bad weather we've had since arriving in this 'green and pleasant' land and I can't say I'm looking forward to it one bit! While it may be a good excuse to stay in bed tomorrow, it will severely limit my popping out the back door for a ciggie with my coffee in the morning. According to the TV weather report, we can expect winds of up to 80 miles per hour - that should make lighting a ciggie just a tad difficult I should think?

Onward and upward I always say!

Spending your money the English way!

Or at least trying to! Today we came up against the new order of 'Don't bother to use your initiative, you've already lost it!' syndrome and how very frustrating that is!

Being the organised people we are (and due to the inordinate waiting period between paying for your goods and actually getting a delivery date!), about a month ago we ordered and paid for two lovely, luxury model, brand spanking new beds from a well known furniture showroom. Oh what joy and celebration! The only problem - a very minor one the salesman assured us as he gleefully took our cash (debit card actually) - was that we couldn't give the correct delivery address since we had not yet confirmed the new rental with the estate agents. Now for those of my readers that live in the UK, I'm sure you all started nodding your heads wisely as soon as I mentioned those magic words 'correct delivery address' - be honest now, didn't you?

No problem said the salesman, just phone this number nearer the time and they will change it for you. Oh yeah right! Get real! Phoning the number was only the START of the right royal runaround we've just had these past two days! OK, for those of you who mistakenly thought that once you had bought and paid for your goods, you could pretty much expect to have use of them wherever you deemed fit - here is a valuable lesson in British Red Tape and The Circular Reasoning (or not, as the case may be!) Powers of Delivery Personnel. We are still reeling and the hubby says that "if the damn beds don't arrive at the right bloody address on Monday then he wants his damn &&**%£$""**&&%%%%£££ money back!"

Firstly - are you who you say you are? This is a VERY good question I suppose but quite hard to answer on the phone? Better, we thought, to go back to the store as suggested by the person on the other end of the phone, with receipt in hand and sort that one out there?

Next, do you have proof that you are legally the person living at the address you want the delivery changed to? A bit difficult this one since we haven't moved in yet but, yes, we do have the receipt from the estate agent for all those exorbitant 'fees' we had to pay out (per person!) for the credit check (we are paying the rent six months in advance anyway?) with the new address clearly PRINTED on it, will that do? Oh yes said the store manager with a happy smile as he faxed all this information directly from his store to the delivery department.

Oh NO, said the delivery department when they phoned again that night to inform us that this simply wasn't sufficient proof! So what more do you require said hubby with teeth firmly clamped? You need to go into the store with passport and sign an indemnity form and fax it to us said not now so chirpy delivery person! I will email you the form right now, this very minute, I promise!

Still no form this morning sighed hubby, I'd better phone them I suppose? Something like five phone calls later (and £8 in phone charges!!) the form has arrived - it has been dutifully filled in, scanned (with copy of passport) and emailed back to delivery person.

AND......as my hubby says,
IF THEY DON'T DELIVER THOSE ***%%$$**""££***%%$$ BEDS ON MONDAY, AND WITH A SMILE AND INTO THE RIGHT ROOMS AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRCASE WITHOUT COMPLAINT - I WANT HIS MONEY BACK!

British bureaucracy gone mad!

Some pubs I have known......

The hubby and I have started a new family tradition since arriving in these fair isles. Mostly this is due to a general disinclination on the part of himself, myself and the girl child to cook and a certain 'stir craziness' that the man in my life is suffering from couped up in this rather small apartment. It usually starts as a shopping trip to the local supermarket and ends up somewhere in the countryside at some quaint little wayside pub.

This week's find is the Lamb Inn in Hooe (absolutely NO idea how you pronounce that one!). This is, so far, one of the nicest and most pleasant pubs we have discovered. Set just off the road and surrounded by open farm land, it has the traditional look and feel of 'ye olde' English pub and an excellent menu with cheerful and efficient staff. Prices are reasonable and they do offer a special Sunday Roast Lunch (we plan to go back and try that too). A delight in every way and it comes highly recommended by the Jayne family for good food, attractive traditional surroundings and a pleasant and helpful staff.

We give it 5 stars :)

Tagged!

Thank you Keith :)

Tagged hey? Mmmmm - let me think!

The rules are :

* link to the person who tagged you
* post the rules on your blog
* share six non-important things/ habits/ quirks about yourself
* tag at least 3 people at the end of the post and link to their blogs
* let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

OK - I think I can manage this - lol
link to Keith - my favourite travelling rat http://travelrat.wordpress.com/
Rules? done!
Six totally unimportant and irrelevant details of my everyday life? see below!
1. I wear socks with cute teddy bears on them.
2. I am a chocoholic.
3. I eat too much cheesecake.
4. I have a nifty new pair of furry brown boots.
5. I have NEVER been able to touch my toes.
6. I hate cooking dinner!

newly tagged: Mutters http://muttars.blogspot.com/
Toadee http://thechurchoftheterminallybemused.blogspot.com/
Krazy Blonde http://krazyblonde-kb.blogspot.com/

Well that took longer than expected! Doesn't it always?
LOL