My friends and other animals.

I confess, unashamedly, to being an animal lover of extreme proportions. Over the years I have come to realise that animals, in general, are far more predictable and loyal friends than their human counterparts. They are always pleased to see you no matter what the time of day and are happy just to be near you in companionable silence.

I have two cats and three dogs, all with their own special personalities, quirks and quidities. There is Mistress Purdee Tat, so called for her aloof disdain of 'things unimportant in a cat's life' and the faintly snooty look she can call up when the occasion calls for it. Her sometimes tolerated companion, Chuck Norris, is a rough and tumble young thug with serious ginger cat ATTITUDE. So named by the girl child for his perceived resemblance to the original, he is a rather clumsy young man who rugby tackles my pot plants and shreds the toilet rolls with gay abandon.

The 'grumpy old man' of the group is my Toy Pom, Dexter. Acquired as a minute puppy nine years ago, he believes that I am his personal property and wherever I am in the house, you can be sure he is somewhere close by. Surprisingly fierce for the smallest animal in the house, he keeps everyone in line and will even have a go at the Great Dane if he feels she has stepped into his 'personal space'. The amazing thing is that everyone keeps a respectful distance and a wary eye open!

Next in the pecking order is his son Pumba. Due to an unfortunate accident in his youth, Pumba has no tail. He is an adorable little teddy bear dog with huge appealing eyes. My husband calls him the 'diddums dog' because of his ability to make you feel sorry for him no matter what the situation. His favourite treat in the whole world is cashew nuts! He will sit at the side of your chair and WILL you to give him one - if he was a human, he would be one of the great hypnotists!

Clown of the house is the rescue Great Dane who came to live with us about 18 months ago. Starving both of food and affection, she came to us a skinny, neurotic wreck and is now a fat couch potato of note. Gemma is actually a very clever dog - she just hides it well! She has a food fixation disorder which manifests itself in displays of absolute nuttiness every time I stand up and even LOOK like I might be heading to the kitchen. She has 'clicker' trained herself to the sound of my laptop shutting at night, knowing that once I shut up shop for the night, more food will be forthcoming when I put her to bed. She can have every appearance of a dead dog until the click of the laptop shutting and then all hell breaks loose!

They are all my best buddies. They make me laugh with their antics and they keep me company when I'm down. Where else would you find such a fun bunch of 'people' to be with?