Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Can we go back?

I've always been a believer in moving forward but just lately I've been suffering from a serious dose of homesickness and a overwhelming desire to go back to my roots. Back to the familiar places and the old friends that played such a big part in shaping my life over the years. England is such a lonely place. Making friends is almost impossible - you don't make friends, you make acquaintances!  It's also very hard to trust people here, seems to me that everyone is out to get what they can from you and then, when you have nothing left to give, they cast you aside and move on to the next unsuspecting victim. At least that's what it feels like - everything, including friendship, has a monetary value. How can you place a price on the value of friendship?!

Being ripped off is the English Condition!

Can I go home now?


Monday, 21 May 2012

My Rules to Live Your Life By .....

I have a friend who insists he only has 2 rules to live by and, while in themselves they are very sensible rules, I personally think they are very limiting. There are so many things in this life that a person should do in order to be happy and, by being so, make others happy. I've compiled 8 Rules of my own that I truly believe make for a happy and fulfilled life and are well worth living for:

  1. Be happy – happiness is a journey, not a destination! It is a part of every waking moment and makes every daily trial bearable. Don't expect others to make you happy, you are the only person who can make yourself truly happy and, by being happy yourself, you make those around you happy too. Just as misery breeds misery, so does happiness breed happiness. Make time to smile and laugh every day, laughter really IS the best medicine!
  2. Admit when you're wrong, and apologise – some people see admitting they are wrong as a weakness, I see it as a great strength! The man (or woman!) that can accept that they are as often wrong as they are right and can say those two little words “I'm Sorry” with a sincere heart, has a gift beyond compare.
  3. Be honest and tell the truth– honesty is always the best policy in all your relationships, both personal and business. Having a reputation for honest dealing is worth a lot.
  4. Do unto others as you would they do unto you – being able to walk in another man's shoes and to see a situation from his point of view is a great gift. Tolerating and respecting each others differences is a great place to start. Be kind to people and, just as importantly, be kind to yourself – none of us is perfect, we all make mistakes.
  5. Learn to listen – being a good listener is not always easy but it is always appreciated. Everyone needs a shoulder to lean on now and then and someone to just listen when they need to unburden themselves. If you're always too busy talking, you miss so many opportunities to be a friend.
  6. Don't let a disagreement destroy a great friendship – real friends are very hard to come by, they are worth more than gold. Nurture them!
  7. Take responsibility for your life – it's easy to blame others and rail at the world for the bad things that happen in your life but it doesn't solve anything, all it does is piss people off! Admit that bad things happen, admit that sometimes it's your own fault and then move on and find a solution. You can't change things if you're always in 'victim' mode!
  8. And finally …. HUGS are what keep body and soul together, hug often and whenever  you can!

Sunday, 20 May 2012

Porching it ... :D

Today was fun!

In the interests of making sure the husband's latest obsession is in fit and healthy state for his return, today I took The Porsche for a spit and polish and then the First Born Son and I hit the highway. Oh what joy to thunder down the A27 in the sunshine with the sunroof open (testing!) and my foot on the gas (testing some more!). We stopped at the Farm Shop on the way back and bought some yummies for later consumption and then did the Polegate bypass to see how fast I could actually go (definitely testing!) - a few brief moments at 100 (apparently there are no speed cameras on this section of road!) and then back to steady 80 - what can I say but . . . . . . .  WOW ?



It was in the cause of friendship that brought my poor old Blog back to my attention - is it really nearly 3 years since I was last here?! And I used to have so much fun in this place - sadly, I suppose, we all move on?

How do you define friendship? 

"Aristotle describes it as ".... A single soul, dwelling in two bodies"   Psychologically speaking, friendship may be defined as 'a dynamic, mutual relationship between two individuals.'

True friendship is perhaps the only relationship that survives the trials and tribulations of time and remains unconditional. A unique blend of affection, loyalty, love, respect, trust and loads of fun is perhaps what describes the true meaning of friendship. To experience what is friendship, one must have true friends, who are indeed a rare treasure.

Friendship is a feeling of comfort and emotional safety with a person.  It is when someone knows you better than yourself and assumes to be by your side in every emotional crisis.  Friendship is much beyond roaming together and sharing good moments, it is when someone comes to rescue you from the worst phases of life. Friendship is eternal. It is when you can sleep fighting and get another morning with a better understanding. They say a person who has found a faithful friend has found a priceless treasure. 

Different people have different definitions of friendship. For some, it is the trust in an individual that he / she won't hurt you. For others, it is unconditional love. There are some who feel that friendship is companionship. However, any relationship needs constant nurturing and development from all the people involved, friendship cannot survive if one person makes all the effort to sustain it without any mutual recognition from the other."
(extract from iloveindia.com)

So, what is a friend? I'm quite picky about who I allow into my inner circle of very special people. I count on one hand my true friends that I have gathered along life's highway - one is from my childhood, another from my days of growing children and yet another from my days in Zambia. All have proved themselves to be far more than friends by the conventional definition - they are the family that I got to choose for myself, they are special people in every way that I know I can rely on to always be there for me in times of trouble and to always help me celebrate in times of joy. I would do anything for them - and often have. My friends are as important to me as the air I breathe.

So, it is always very hurtful when a friend lets me down. When my expectations are higher than they can achieve, when I feel that I have, perhaps, chosen unwisely. It's hard for me to give up on a friend, even when in my heart of hearts I know that my definition of friendship is beyond what they can manage, or even understand. No-one likes to feel that they give everything of themselves to a person who sucks it in and doesn't even realise that they do it. 

There is no room for 'SELF' in a friendship!

and, moving on, I shall try to come here more often. I remember now why I started this blog to share my life with friends - to shout about life's injustices and to share in those moments of great mirth and joy. Also, every now and then, in sorrow and despair. Thank you to all my friends who have kept me going - you are indeed the true treasures in my life :)