Sunday, 20 May 2012


It was in the cause of friendship that brought my poor old Blog back to my attention - is it really nearly 3 years since I was last here?! And I used to have so much fun in this place - sadly, I suppose, we all move on?

How do you define friendship? 

"Aristotle describes it as ".... A single soul, dwelling in two bodies"   Psychologically speaking, friendship may be defined as 'a dynamic, mutual relationship between two individuals.'

True friendship is perhaps the only relationship that survives the trials and tribulations of time and remains unconditional. A unique blend of affection, loyalty, love, respect, trust and loads of fun is perhaps what describes the true meaning of friendship. To experience what is friendship, one must have true friends, who are indeed a rare treasure.

Friendship is a feeling of comfort and emotional safety with a person.  It is when someone knows you better than yourself and assumes to be by your side in every emotional crisis.  Friendship is much beyond roaming together and sharing good moments, it is when someone comes to rescue you from the worst phases of life. Friendship is eternal. It is when you can sleep fighting and get another morning with a better understanding. They say a person who has found a faithful friend has found a priceless treasure. 

Different people have different definitions of friendship. For some, it is the trust in an individual that he / she won't hurt you. For others, it is unconditional love. There are some who feel that friendship is companionship. However, any relationship needs constant nurturing and development from all the people involved, friendship cannot survive if one person makes all the effort to sustain it without any mutual recognition from the other."
(extract from

So, what is a friend? I'm quite picky about who I allow into my inner circle of very special people. I count on one hand my true friends that I have gathered along life's highway - one is from my childhood, another from my days of growing children and yet another from my days in Zambia. All have proved themselves to be far more than friends by the conventional definition - they are the family that I got to choose for myself, they are special people in every way that I know I can rely on to always be there for me in times of trouble and to always help me celebrate in times of joy. I would do anything for them - and often have. My friends are as important to me as the air I breathe.

So, it is always very hurtful when a friend lets me down. When my expectations are higher than they can achieve, when I feel that I have, perhaps, chosen unwisely. It's hard for me to give up on a friend, even when in my heart of hearts I know that my definition of friendship is beyond what they can manage, or even understand. No-one likes to feel that they give everything of themselves to a person who sucks it in and doesn't even realise that they do it. 

There is no room for 'SELF' in a friendship!

and, moving on, I shall try to come here more often. I remember now why I started this blog to share my life with friends - to shout about life's injustices and to share in those moments of great mirth and joy. Also, every now and then, in sorrow and despair. Thank you to all my friends who have kept me going - you are indeed the true treasures in my life :) 


keith hillman said...

Jayne, you’ve described exactly what a friend should be. The word friend has become devalued over the years, and replaced the term ‘acquaintance’. Facebook is major offender. According to my homepage I have 81 friends, but apart from family, I can count my true friends on the fingers of one hand. That’s why I ‘created’ a friend – My Friend Rosey who has been a feature of my blog for years. I made myself a perfect friend!

Magdalen Islands said...

I don't think I even have one of "those" types of friends..., but if I need help or if I ask for help to any specific person, I'll have it. If I want company, all I have to do is ask. Perhaps everyone I know is one of "those" special friends..., but I don't think so.

I'm so self-sufficient that I rarely to never ask for help. If I have something I want moved and can't do it, I'll take it apart in small enough pieces, move it and reassemble it where I want it, lol, rather than ask. It is tedious, but my justification is that I'm learning how things work, (tongue in cheek here now)..., Lol.

Meanwhile, I'm glad you resurrected your blog, Jayne.

Jayne - talking nonsense! said...

Thanks for visiting guys, and doubly thanked for taking the time to comment! I know what you mean Keith, I have only 40 odd FB friends, and lord knows where they all came from?! :)

You are blessed Wynn - if people help when asked then they are indeed friends - I have a few who make excuses even when asked, let alone offer! I guess they figure you'll stop asking if they are always 'too busy' to help?

Good to be back voicing my opinions again :D