Saturday, 20 January 2007

Life in a slightly used body!

Today I went to the doctor for my test results. I have been feeling a bit run down lately, full of unexplained aches and pains and headaches! Other than a slightly high colesterol count, I am reliably informed that I am absolutely FIT and HEALTHY! So why do I feel so crap?

Get more exercise says my chubby doctor, it will benefit you greatly! How, I ask, do I go walking for an hour every day when I can barely move from one end of the house to the other without huffing and puffing and collapsing in a heap? Excuse me - I really do FEEL ILL! My back is killing me, my joints are aching and I have this empty, sick to the stomach feeling that can not be ignored no matter how hard I try.

I am convinced that my mind is going too. I can't remember names of the most common kitchen utensils (shouting "pass me the thingymagig, you know the one in the drawer!" as the steaks are burning on the stove just doesn't cut it!). I am tired, grumpy and bad tempered and just generally FED UP with EVERYONE!

Is this what it feels to get older? Is this what happens when your body starts to rebel? When did I realise that I couldn't touch my toes anymore and that 'dancing the night away' had become a wishful thought? Ye Gods, I could make a strong case for voluntary euthanasia!

So, walking it is! Have the paramedics on standby please! Life in this slightly used body has got to improve - maybe I could get my chubby doctor to walk with me :)


Brit & Grit said...

Hi Jayne

This is a great place.

One of the advantages of a slightly used body is that one can then demand all the things that one use to look at as a youngster and think "this would be fun!" I am thinking of the metallic purple zimmerframe or the multispeed stairlift (which is not much use in a bungalow of course). Then there is the crane that drops you in the bath, spreading a stream of bubbles across the landing, together with the armchair that electronically raises you to a standing position (unless it is on too fast a setting, in which case it propels you head first into the TV).

So hang on for a while and enjoy the fruits of body aging in other ways.

Paul (the Brit)

Jayne :) said...

Thanks Paul!

Lots to look forward to then :)

Brit & Grit said...

Hi Jayne,

Every time I get all my medical problems under control (high blood pressure, cholesterol, etc) the doctor seems to find something else I need to worry about. It's a never ending cycle, or a money making scheme ;) Stay safe and healthy.

the Grit

Megan Bayliss said...

Hey there African Jayne

I dropped in to see if there was coffee in the pot. It's been a long time since we shared a char.

This post had me in stitches. Snap...I have one of those aching bodies like you too. I prefer to think that it's because my body is just so wonderful that the gremlins try to attack me and bring me down.

I just bought a special new bra for my impending wedding. AMAZING what that piece of torture can do to the clevage!!!!!!!!!!! Now I just have to find some contraptions that will take care of the rest of the aged pieces.

I love antiques....which is why I love and value all my bumpy, worn and distressed marks on myself.

And now the real Megan can come out to play....I HATE getting old and experiencing the complications that go with it!!!!!!!!!!! All those lithe young nympths should be made to stay indoors.

Walk with the fat doctor. He'll make you look great.

Jayne :) said...

I saw the doctor again today - I'm sure he's even fatter!

Lorretta said...

This is great info to know.